Why car hire is broken and how to fix it
Car hire is broken. We desperately need a fancy start up to revolutionise this seriously outdated model. The industry operates like it’s 1994.
Here are my 10 main hates, and a bonus:
- Booking a “car group” — In the normal booking process, you don’t order a specific car model, but a “group”. And you never get the car you book. Imagine going to a coffee shop and ordering a “cappuccino (or similar)”. We wouldn’t accept this bizarre behaviour at a cinema or a railway station. The problem here is that the companies like Sixt sneak in cheap (mangy) cars to the group, so the group can include “Polo, Corsa, Peugeot 206, or Fiat 500”. Eagle eyed readers will notice that the Fiat 500 is a much smaller car. Try getting your suitcases into that. And sorry Hertz, that strange looking Kia you gave me is not “similar” to a Golf, not in any conceivable way. You know which car I’m getting, so why not tell me? (If you don’t know, there’s something seriously wrong with your system.)
- Overpriced insurance — In any other business this would be exposed as the extortionate scam that it is. At a recent hire office I was told that I am liable for the full value of the car if I don’t upgrade the insurance. I would be happy to take out insurance if it weren’t at such a ridiculous price, many 10 times more expensive that a normal insurance deal. (Small tip, go to www.icarhireinsurance.com and get your own cover — but then again, how tedious is it that I should have to refer you to a third party to cover the most basic service.)
- Entering everything online, then again at the office. What’s the point in having a fancy website with a booking system, if your agent is going to have to reenter everything when I get to the office (even if I “check in” online — whatever that means).
- Counter waiting times — I booked weeks in advance, so why do I have to queue up at a counter just to give you data you already have. You already have my credit card number. Give me the car.
- Extra driver fees — there is no logical connection between the fee charged, often per day, and the service rendered. It’s understandable that the agent has to enter 2 more lines of data into the form, but apart from that, where is the extra cost involved, and why is it charged by day? In fact, I should get a rebate, as a second driver lowers the risk of an accident.
- Fuel consumption — I appreciate that you really don’t care, but I do. Tell me what the cars consume. Why has no car company cornered the “green” hire car market?
- Hidden fees — yes, if I live in a country which has five national borders within 350 km, there’s a chance that I might be crossing a border with the car. So build that in, don’t show me paragraph 52 of the terms and conditions that explain that I can cross this border, but not this one, unless I pay extra (why?). Tell me up front. I don’t want to enter into a negotiation at the counter when I’m eager to get on my journey.
- Transparency — Please leave me alone with the legalese and the waivers, extras, small print, terms and conditions etc. Don’t hand me a piece of paper with a thousand words on it in 6pt print and ask me to sign it. That’s subterfuge. Why don’t you listen to the marketing people a bit more than the lawyers? Use my language, not yours. I didn’t book an ECMR, I booked a Fiesta. Why do I have to learn your internal jargon to hire a car?
- Opening times — Sorry Europcar, but I’ve tried. Every time I try to check out your prices on your website, it tells me that the station is closed at the times entered. And it isn’t. So I don’t book with you. I suppose this is a website problem, but don’t you notice? It’s 2016, why do you have opening hours like a greengrocers?
- Filling up the tank — If you’re giving me a car full of fuel, please make sure it is full, not 90%, not 95%. Anything else is just stealing really. And you holiday firms: pre-charging me for fuel I might not use in the hope that I bring it back more than empty is sort of shady, don’t you think? You’re selling this fuel twice (or more). Happy with that? How can I possibly bring the car back empty?
- And a bonus one here. Why has no car hire company every tried to change things, to offer something extra, to go out of its way to delight its customers, to stand out, to be remarkable, even memorable? At the moment, I really don’t care who I hire from, because you’re all the same grey. I just go for price, as you never give me a reason to care.
Where’s the Uber, the AirBnB, the Basecamp, the Netflix of car hire?
My dream solution would be a service where I book a specific car online for a specific time, see all(!) costs involved with the transaction before I order (is it even legal to sell reservations without informing the customer of the full costs?). If I can book as specific seat on a train or a plane, why not in a car?
I don’t want to scroll through the child seats, snow chains (in summer) and horrendously overpriced navigation system (Hertz is offering me GPS for a staggering 90 Euros a week, when I have the free “Here” on my smartphone).
I don’t want to pay for fuel I didn’t use. If you sell me fuel, then at the average price for the city.
I want to turn up at the place where the car is parked (not some office in the city centre) and pick up the keys. You already have my data. I accepted the terms and conditions when I booked. In 2016, do you really think my signature on a piece of paper will make the difference in court?
And I want you to say thank you. I know. But I’m old-fashioned.
And then, and only then, I might actually start to like you, and tell other people about you, and come back, instead of hopping from company to company.
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And now, just for a giggle. If Avis ran Starbucks:
You can’t order a specific coffee, just a category.
When you order, we’ll ask you to repeat your order again at the next desk.
Your cup won’t be full, it will be “nearly full”. But we’ll say it’s full.
Your coffee will be delivered round the corner, about 500 yards away.
We’ll warn you that if you spill coffee on someone, you will be liable for the damage caused. We can offer you insurance against that, at around 40 times the market price.
Spoons are extra. And sugar etc.
Depending on where you’re going to take your coffee, we’ll charge you extra.
If you’re going to share your coffee, we’ll charge you extra.
When you get your coffee, it won’t be Starbucks. It’ll be Walmart’s own brand.
Enjoy.