On Intentions
I’m a human being. I’ve got opinions, I’m not always right, I’m not always on time, I don’t always say things in the proper way, but my intentions are always extremely pure.
-Kanye West
Intention- the purpose(s) or reason(s) behind action(s).
Action- something that is done, completed or performed.
I feel intentions get the short stick these days. Aldous Huxley is often quoted
Hell isn’t merely paved with good intentions; it’s walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too.
Sure, actions can be more important than intentions, but for any given action — the intentions behind it are extraordinarily significant. If you hit someone while driving and kill them, your intentions determine whether you’re guilty of first degree, premeditated murder or manslaughter. There’s no way to interpret an action without knowing the intentions behind it.
My friend’s wife recently learned to drive their Prius. The Prius will often turn the engine off and make no noise. They awoke in the middle of the night barely able to breath with their carbon monoxide alarm going off. Hundreds of people die every year from accidentally leaving their cars running. If someone leaves their car on and dies in their house from carbon monoxide poisoning, the intent determines whether it’s labeled a suicide or a tragic accident.
There are two countries —
- Country one is a democracy that is run at the will of its own people. Country one is under attack from hackers and terrorists. Citizens want their information protected, and they want to feel safe. The government obliges by increasing its power with the intent to protect its people. Cameras are installed in public areas, emails and texts and calls are stored in a database, and teams of analysts analyze this data.
- Country two is a despotic regime with rulers whose first priority is to stay in power and keep stability. Country two implements the same measures as country one under the guise of ensuring stability. Cameras are installed in public areas, emails and texts and calls are stored in a database, and teams of analysts analyze this data.
Given their intentions, which country would you rather live in? Which country would more likely have a system of checks and balances and audits on the analysts to make sure they aren’t abusing their power? How would you feel when country one gets in a war vs when country two gets in a war? Intentions affect morality and give insight into future potential actions.
You’ve been dating your partner for a couple months and the holidays are coming up. You decide to not invite your partner to meet your family. Your partner views this as you not being serious and even ashamed of them. You think it’s too early in the relationship to introduce them to your family and think it may alarm your family and your partner if you invited them.
Misunderstandings or misreadings of a partner’s intentions are the cause of most relationship issues. Relationships aren’t so much about actions but about how those actions are perceived. The most important thing is what that person meant by their actions and the communication of their intentions. Caveat being that I’m talking about true intentions (not lies), and also if each partners’ actions are consistently out of whack, then they aren’t adapting and aren’t meant for each other. In Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, the biggest indicator that a relationship is going to fail is contempt for your partner. So, whether you have positive intentions or negative intentions for your partner is the best predictor of a lasting relationship.
When someone’s house burns down, intentions make the difference between arson/insurance fraud vs an accident that insurance will fully cover. Discovering intent is difficult to determine even for criminal prosecutors and insurance companies with decades of practice dealing with claims. Finding the source of the fire is one way — was the gas left on, was it an electrical circuit issue. From there, they could research the financial situation of the policy holder — are they suffering from liquidity issues, were they recently rejected from getting a loan, are they paying their bills on time, what’s their credit score. If one had the resources/legal ability, you could imagine checking their google searches, texts, and emails to paint a fuller picture if they had a motive or committed a crime. Insurance policies only cover losses when there was a lack of intent.
I can analyze people’s intentions. Immediately. That’s just a warning. To everyone.
-Kanye West
Kanye passed up a lucrative job as the best claims agent of all time. I’d watch that show.
But when people discuss politics online, as soon as the discussion hits an irreconcilable difference, one side will pursue ad hominem attacks. The most common method is labeling their opponents with negative intentions. They’re “dog whistling”. They’re horrible, evil people because they believe X about Y issue, and the conversation tends to devolve from there. Maybe they all have Kanye’s intention knowing super power.
In reality, I think few people understand others intentions or even their own true intentions. The easiest person to fool is yourself. Why do we do what we do? Most of what humans do makes little rational sense until you try to get to the core of our motivations. My friend wrote a book called The Elephant in the Brain where he goes deep into signaling theory and what that concept reveals about us. It’s often evolutionarily beneficial for us to fool ourselves and hide our true intentions from our own conscious thoughts. Before you attack someone by assuming their intentions, always take a hard look in the mirror, tell yourself you look sexy, then think about what’s motivating you and what you are trying to gain from this interaction.
It’s beneficial to be self aware and transparent with our intentions. The biggest plus is that it attracts people who have similar beliefs and values. We should strive to not suffer from groupthink, but us humans are naturally tribal. Our tribes give us purpose. Show your true intentions to find your tribe.
