Why is British public sculpture so very disappointing?

For some peculiar reason many new British public sculptures depict horses. From the enormous and extremely expensive ‘The Kelpies’ in Scotland to ‘Still Water’ at Marble Arch there seems to be a concerted effort by monumental equine sculptors to dominate the UK landscape. And I, for one, am not amused. It’s not just the ridiculous sums of money involved in installing these big metal beasts, although that is admittedly galling. It’s the complete lack of artistic ambition and critical awareness of local councils which disappoints me so. Did nobody really object?

The huge, expensive follies are almost universally applauded by the public. It is difficult to find anyone willing to openly condemn such aesthetic crimes. The Guardian was one voice of reason.

The Kelpies is just a kitsch exercise in art ‘for the people’, carefully stripped of difficulty, controversy and meaning.” Jonathan Jones, The Guardian

Hideous blots are not limited to provincial areas. There are shocking examples of poor taste desecrating the heart of our beautiful capital.

Permanent public sculpture is seriously problematic. Time limits would at least provide the promise that one day they would be replaced. There is a tremendous responsibility to get it right. I don’t necessarily blame the artists for their awful makings, rather the facilities without whom the excrescences would have thankfully remained in minor maquette form and hidden from daily view.

This particularly hideous piece of kitsch in swanky Park Lane appears to be a stitch up between Halcyon Gallery, a bullying Grosvenor Estates and the bizarrely compliant Westminster Council. I think even Jeff Koons would find it hard to stomach as he trundles past in his limo. How and why did this pass the planning application? Some hefty kickbacks, perhaps?

A quick visit to other European countries shows, however, that it really is possible to commission permanent public pieces that truly deserve their place. The major difference would appear to be that these bold commissioners are not afraid of a little controversy. They also appear to be highly visually literate unlike their British counterparts. In contrast the Brits seem to have received all their artistic training at town planning school.

I recently saw this excellent piece of metal work in Stockholm. Two massive ants are gnawing at similarly huge blades of grass. It is very pleasing in its overall form and wonderful level of detail.

Most interesting of all for me was the homeless fox situated in the bureaucratic heart of the Swedish capital.

This extraordinarily humane work by Laura Ford helps me overcome my innate distaste for the use of voiceless animals as the subject of art. For me anthropomorphism has always seemed more suited to the world of Disney than fine art. And, as we have seen, it is the standard form of choice for the brainless kitsch artist.

However, in Laura’s remarkable little casting, I am moved. Imagine how tacky it would have been if it were a draped human figure, in horrifying emulation of the foreign beggars kneeling only a few metres up the road! As a fox it is amusing, disturbing and attractive all at once. And a great selfie opportunity for many a happy tourist.

It is hardly surprising that the Swedes do public art better than us. After all, their buildings, interiors, food and (most importantly) public toilets are always a cut above!