Introduction
My first year at Capital One resulted in a demotion.
I joined Capital One four years ago as the first engineer on my team, expecting to hoist an idea from inception to production in three short months. I did it at a previous startup, so why not again at Capital One?
When a friend of mine from a previous startup agreed to join me, we were going to be an unstoppable force — revolutionizing how Capital One delivers products to market.
Or so I thought.
Our project did ship to production, though at a cost of great personal capital and damaged reputations. Today, remnants of our project still remain, though many of the original team members have gone their separate ways.
As one of the original few who still remain, I’m writing as a testament to the lessons that I’ve learned here at Capital One, as well as a testament to the leadership who invested in my growth.
My recent trip to Big Island, Hawaii allowed me to reflect and illustrate some of the lessons that I’ve gained over the past few years.
Lesson 1: Step up with a mentor
One of the first questions that my manager asked of me when delivering news of my demotion was whether I had a mentor. To me, the question hinted of something awry. After all, why would a person need a mentor unless things were not going well?
While resistant and indignant at first, I have now experienced the benefits of mentorship:
A daunting task becomes easier after seeing a trailblazer’s success.
The unknown becomes known with the help of the heads and shoulders of those who have gone before.
Success becomes palpable with experienced support.
When I visited South Point — aptly named as the southernmost point of the United States — I ventured to the boat hoists hanging off 40 feet tall cliffs. The guidebook recommended South Point as a popular cliff jumping location, but the warning sign alerted me of the hazards ahead: “DANGER. No jumping.” Peering over the ledge instilled even more trepidation. Adding in warnings of strong currents, my mind began to race with thoughts: “Is this a good idea? I’d hate for my kids back home to grow up without a father.”
Until I saw a middle-aged lady in a two-piece swimsuit leaping off the platform.
After I saw that, my demeanor took a marked shift. What seemed imprudent now became palpable. Enjoyable, even. Seeing and learning from experienced guide alerted me to possibilities before unknown.
The experience at South Point set up another adventure at the End of the World, near Kona. After the first experience in South Point, bigger adventures at the End of the World became much easier.
I have much to thanks to give to the lady who I saw jump off the cliff first — just as I have much thanks to give to my mentors who have guided me through my challenges at work and at home.
Seeing the lady enter the water and come back up unharmed also signalled that the water was of an appropriate depth. Jumping off cliffs entertain multiple hazards: injury from entering the water incorrectly, or inadvertently striking shallow rock beneath the water.
The next lesson exhorts us to examine what lay underneath.
Lesson 2: Examine what lay underneath
As my wife and I drove out of South Point, we visited Kilauea, the most active of 6 volcanoes on the Big Island. The eruption of Kilauea made headlines in 2018 when it erupted, spewing enough land to cover the island of Manhattan under 27 feet of lava.
What surprised me most was that when Kilauea erupted, it didn’t spew lava out of its crater, but rather opened up fissures in the nearby town of Leilani Estates. Imagine a ditch that opens up in your backyard with lava spewing out.
I could easily imagine myself as one of those who lost their homes in the eruption. Why not buy a home built in paradise, with great weather, beaches, and way of life? Never mind that the home is built on top of an active volcano.
I see parallels of those who bought those homes to how we engineer our products. Sometimes, as we write code or create new products, we satisfy ourselves with how it looks on the outside without architecting the product for longevity. We write cursory tests for our code — if at all — without exploring all possible failure cases. We tempt ourselves with the comfort of using technologies and platforms without diving deeper into the architecture.
Leilani Estates suffered lava flows that wiped out their property and life savings. In a similar fashion, I’ve experienced insidious bugs within our own stack that have caused massive outages, saved only by the luck and grace of fellow team members.
Lessons that I’ve learned from our drive into Volcano National Park: Go deeper. Fully understand our stack. Don’t take things for granted.
We’ll be glad we did when the next natural disaster (or production outage) comes.
Lesson 3: Slow and steady wins the race
Once I was in Volcano National Park, I was fortunate to take a guided tour down to the crater of Kilauea.
On the way down, our ranger guide mentioned that elevation we lost going down would need to be regained on the way back up.
The advice apparently had no effect on 2 young’uns who ran by me on the trail back up. My first reaction was envy. It reminded me of how some people effortlessly succeed in life, seemingly spending little effort for amazing gains.
I could have become discouraged at that point — seeing how some can bound up the trail of life like young gazelles — but I simply kept my brisk hiking pace.
A short while later, I was surprised that I caught up to them at the corner of a switchback, too winded to apparently continue. I eventually ascended first out of the crater, not because I am more athletically inclined or more talented, but because of practicing the second lesson: slow and steady wins the race.
It’s echoed by Craig Groschel in his leadership podcast: “One action, done consistently over time, leads to big results.” We often try something radically different or embark on a new endeavor, but because we fail to keep up or build it into our lifestyle, it fails to take root to make lasting change.
Later in my trip, as I was hiking out of Waipio Valley, I was reminded of an analogous lesson: One step at a time.
Lesson 4: One step at a time
Waipi’o Valley is a place that tour companies use to advertise the grandeur of Hawaii. A black sand beach, acres of ranches and taro farms flanked by dazzling cliffs and waterfalls, this is one of the must-see locations on the Big Island.
However, in order to descend into the valley, one must use a four wheel drive vehicle, as the entrance road is too steep for a 2WD. At a 45% grade in certain locations, the road to Waipi’o Valley boasts of being the steepest road of its length in the US.
My wife was too scared to go down because it’s daunting grade, but I yearned for an adventure and hiked down on foot.
My experience down in the valley was superlative. I can’t say enough about its grandeur and beauty.
The grueling hike back up, however, reminded me of the trials and tribulations that many of us face daily. As my legs burned with oven-like fire and as my back spasmed with aches, I reminisced about how some trials cause so much stress as to overwhelm, causing me to escape into unhealthy behaviors — procrastination, video games, TV binge watching, social media — or even into addictions — alcohol, drugs, pornography.
When I get overwhelmed, I repeat my favorite mantra: “One step at a time.” Analogously, “Just do the next right thing.”
Even the biggest mountains are climbed one step at a time, and the mountains of life are no different.
One of the last steps in our trip to Hawaii was to the summit of Mauna Kea.
Lesson 5: Cut out the noise
Through the recommendation of fellow housemates, my wife and I made a trip up to Mauna Kea for sunset and stargazing. Mauna Kea boasts one of the best night-time views in the world, due to its high elevation, pristine air, and low light pollution. The number of discoveries made by the observatories perched at the peak outnumber even the Hubble telescope.
Once near the summit, I understood why our friends recommended it. The view from the Mauna Kea visitor center was breathtaking.
I had never seen so many stars in my life. Back home, when I gaze up at the night sky, I usually try to find Orion’s Belt — the brightest 3 contiguous stars that I can find. When I gazed upwards at the vast expanse of stars at Mauna Kea, any of the stars above could have been Orion’s belt. The stars were so bright and plentiful that it seemed as if I stared at the lights of civilizations above.
The vast expanse of stars at Mauna Kea as compared to the paltry glimmers seen at home reminded me of another life lesson: In order to experience the extraordinary, we need courage to stop the things that hold us back. We need to cut out the noise of things that pollute our lives.
My visit to Mauna Kea illuminated this lesson.
If we want to see our destiny clearly, we have to cut out the noise:
We have to stop listening to the lies of our inner voice that tells us that we can’t.
We have to remove the old destructive habits that keep us enslaved.
We have to face our fears and proclaim victory over them.
Epilogue
The life lessons that I experienced over the past few years come courtesy of my own personal mentors and confidantes, therapists and friends. Some lessons are hard earned; others are freely given. All have had a significant impact on my growth and maturity as a husband, as a father, and as a leader. Living these lessons have also contributed to my recent promotion.
Through the wisdom of my mentors I’m able to share these lessons. Go deeper. Slow and steady. One step at a time. Cut out the noise.
My hope is that these lessons, freely given, will have as much impact or more on your life as it has on mine.
Perhaps our paths will cross on our next adventure in paradise, or even here at Capital One.