How I got involved in
Meditation & Mindfulness
It starts with a curious mind and a lot of questions
I have always been curious. An only child has no choice. While your friends are beating up their brothers and sisters, you are stuck on your own, trying to navigate the reality that presents itself to you. My curiosity often lent itself to the following types of questions…
- Why do I exist?
- Do I have a purpose?
- If I do have a purpose, will I ever find out what it is?
- If I will find out what my purpose is, when?
- What do I have to do to find it out?
- Why does everything around me exist?
- Does everything around me have a purpose?
- Is that purpose related to mine?
It continues through Attraction to certain Literature
I was naturally inclined to read texts of a spiritual nature. I was always craving knowledge. I was hungry to learn. I was thirsty for meaning. I remember when I first started delving deeper into mindfulness and meditation. I read ‘Wherever you go, There you are’ by Jon Kabat-Zinn. That was the day I made one of my first miserable attempts at meditating or being mindful. Some days, I am amazed by how far my practice has come. Other days, I feel like I am no further ahead than I was back on that pleasant September afternoon when I cracked the front cover of the brown and green book. The mind is a truly amazing and troubling thing. Some days I am amazed that my mind can actually experience and describe itself. Think about it, it really doesn’t make any sense does it? Probably better not to think about it for too long.
It advances through Attraction to specific Relationships
I was attracted to people that asked questions similar to mine. They didn’t take things for granted and often were quite troubled by the way things were. They wanted to change things. Some of them were changing things. Others were changing themselves. Some were changing nothing at all. Most of them were really f*cked up. Those souls were my favourite. There is just such beauty to be found in the twisted folds of madness. I found meaning in their craziness and they found meaning in mine. I loved them. They couldn’t love me. King of Light. Queen of Dark. Dancing. The dances were short. They were too intense. But each time, we left each other with more knowledge, more meaning, and more understanding than we did prior to the dance.
It culminates through Attraction to the exploration of Meditation
You realize that your curiosity, your reading, and your relationships can only take you so far. You realize that all those experiences are external in nature. They are only answering half of the equation. You realize that you need to complement that with a look inwards. This is when you find out about meditation and her more practical sister, mindfulness. You start to explore inwards. Eventually that exploration and seeking evolves into observation. Maybe one day the observation transforms into stillness. Who knows?
So this is how I started my journey in Meditation and Mindfulness. An innate curiosity led to an attraction to certain literature, followed by an attraction to specific relationships, and it culminated to my current exploration of Meditation and Mindfulness. What happens next? I’m more interested in what is happening right now.