HGTV Made My Life a Living Hell
Lights, Camera, Action!
HGTV has changed the face of home remodeling. The shows have given property rehab confidence to the average Joe and Mary Smith. These couples now believe they can buy a fixer upper and flip it in a matter of weeks for a hefty profit. Rehabbing is their new honey-pot.
Don’t get me wrong. I am a fan of a few of these shows including Fixer Upper, Property Brothers and an oldie but goody,Trading Spaces.
With the advent of these shows, we have become conditioned to believe that in 43 minutes (average 4–6 weeks) we can take a distressed building and remake it into a shiny home to share with friends and family.
What these shows fail to include within their 43 minutes of entertainment are some the following realities:
- Permitting and zoning timelines vary by market
- Building inspections take place Monday — Friday on the inspectors timeline
- Vendor/trade delays can add days, if not weeks to your timeline
- Wholesale pricing allows shows to showcase deeply discounted rehab costs
- Advertised profits rarely take into account commissions and taxes
Why does this matter? It matters because of the number of daily phone calls I received from my Reluctant Spouse asking why things were taking so long.
I now regret not recording or having a federal agency wiretap these calls so I could replay over and over to remind me of my daily personal hell.
Here are some sample sound bites still bouncing around in my head:
“How can the Property Brothers get their project done in 4 weeks and $50,000?”
“It’s been two weeks. why are we still waiting for structural permits? Chip and Joanna seem to be able to get started right away. We are not going to meet a 6-week deadline. What are we doing wrong?”
“They were able to complete their kitchen, dining, living and master suite for only $12,500. Are we negotiating effectively.”
“Why are the framers not showing up for the third day in a row? This NEVER happens on MY shows!”
Again, I repeat, a living hell……
An additional casualty of these shows are the countless rehabs left abandoned. Unfinished either because they have run out of money, time, patience or a combination of the above. Trust me when I say a number of relationships may have needed rehabbing post their remodeling fixer upper experience.
The moral of my story is simply:
- HGTV is entertainment
- Walk-in with your eyes fully open
- Ensure you and your significant other are on the same page prior to dropping down tens of thousands of dollars
- Add an additional 25% to both your timeline and your budget
- Done right, there is a lot of money to be made
End scene. Fade to black.
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