When is someone ‘in’ your network?
Have you ever wondered how your network actually works? We’re all members of various clubs and associations. Some digital and some not so digital. But when is something actually benefitting your network or you on a personal level?

Today I received a message via LinkedIn from a former fellow student of the same university. Off course I still remember who he is, but I haven’t heard from him for over 8 years. Now that I work at a certain company and, according to his LinkedIn, he does so as well he sees it fit to reach out.
This whole phenomenon boggles me actually. Why would I all of a sudden start doing something for you and thus the company you work for? What’s in it for me? I haven’t spoken to this person in forever, I have absolutely no idea as to where he lives at the moment. If he has pet animals at home, is married, has kids or what he has been up to in the past, let's say 10 years.
We weren’t that close in classrooms anyway.
If a friend or relative of mine went completely silent on me for 9 years, I would have strong doubt as to why all of a sudden he reaches out to me. Is it interest? does he need something from me?…
But somehow because we got connected via this platform a while ago, that enables us to do so, we would have to behave ourselves as to this being the most normal and common way to do so. But come on people. Although we are living in a digital era, this doesn’t mean we should live up to it. If you want to build up a network, start talking to people!
Understand what they want and how you can help them achieve that. Always seek to give more than what you are asking in return. Remember their birthdays and try to be a gentleman.
Now you could use a method like the 5/25/150. But let’s be honest, no one like to live his or her life that organized. Instead, just make sure to have your own goals perfectly clear and make sure you have enough people around you to help you out.
Personally I really suck in networking, specifically maintaining one. If our goals are mutual you will find that we work together intense. But once the goal is achieved or has become outdated I am the person you send an email or message, reads it, and then forgets about it altogether. Now I don’t do this on purpose, it’s just not in my personal DNA and I’m ok with it.
But even in my line of business sometimes relying on your network is key in getting further ahead in your career and life. So what I tend to do is the following; whenever I am in need of someone or something someone can help me with I first start to think.
What can I do to help this person, or what can I offer professionally that will make him want to do something in return?
And after or during I’ve done that, that’s actually the time that I start to cash in on my requests. Because as is the case with marriage, a good relationship is all about giving and not necessarily needing anything in return.