Men Hit Peak Loneliness at Age 35
Tracy Moore

I experienced the truthfulness of what is described in this article.

I am in my 30’s, I am straight, sensitive, affectionate, some would say in tune with my emotions, married and father to a beautiful baby girl. Life got busier since she arrived in my life but I left room for friendships. I have a few amazing friends but I realised some time ago that it makes men particularly uncomfortable when another man, especially a male “friend” exposes a more vulnerable side of his personality. It’s like if men over 35 are scared of this type of commitment, an emotionally intelligent relationship with their peers, true affection and openess. “It’s so gay”, I hear some say. The milder approach is the mention a “bromance”, term that I dislike because it makes almost abnormal the concept of true friendship and affection between men over the age of 30. It is for kids or guys still in college. We’re not even courageous enough to give it its real name. Men need it to really grow and be happy but we apply a stupid censorship to this fundamental need. We often end up in unfulfilled relationships and we see many 30, 40-something men depressed and lonely, unable to express their needs because they were never really encouraged to by society , and even by their wife, partner or female friends. Most men my age appear to be so shallow, inconsiderate when it comes to real friendship. Or is it just a facade, a mask to shield themselves and hide away their insecurities? It is also the case for quite a few younger men too but I dare to assimilate it to immaturity. The sad truth is that we suffer from loneliness but we encourage it. We culturally accept closeness and affectionate relationships between women. It’s encouraged by mainstream media, even toys and childhood games. Men, however, are expected to man up and it starts very early. Camaraderie exists, but competition is the rule, and sometimes agressive masculinity. Our role models are the cool guys that are as true as the top models plastered on billboards, photoshoped, unrealistic and just untrue. We need to teach boys to be emotionally intelligent, and men to be more open. I’m blessed with a handful of real male friends. I hope it will last… I’m working at it…

What do you, dear anonymous reader, think about this topic? Let’s Talk about it…

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