Jealousy & Envy — Kick Them To The Curb

Sometimes we’ll play shows with bands that have grown more successful than my band, more quickly than my band. Even though I’m not a kid anymore, I still sometimes wrestle with those same old feelings of jealousy and envy…. and it’s ugly.

I hate how it makes me feel. I want to be the kind of person that can be happy for others when good things come their way. I worry that it means that I’m a bad person, because surely the people I look up to don’t struggle with these feelings...

Guess what?! They do.

I experience those feelings because I’m human. Why should I be surprised? Every one of us does, no matter how much that little voice in your head says that such-and-such-a-person doesn’t.

So what do we do when we have feelings of jealousy or envy?

Here’s what I do:

  1. I allow myself the latitude to be human. These feelings are normal. I don’t have to beat myself up because I feel them.
  2. I dedicate myself to not acting on those feelings. I decide not to talk crap about the target of my envy, and sometimes, to go right up to them and encourage them. Often they need it more than I realize.
  3. I remember that there is SO MUCH GOOD in my life. Gratitude eats jealousy for breakfast.
  4. I remind myself that I am who I am for a reason. God made me unique and it would be a waste of time to chase after someone else’s calling. There is a something here on earth that only I can do.
  5. Stop being a turd. I’m being selfish. If I stopped thinking about myself for two seconds, I would remember the joy that comes in serving somebody else. It truly satisfies the soul to serve.

I hope these thoughts are helpful for you guys — I’ve gathered them over the years from people a whole lot smarter than me, and they’ve meant a lot to me!