Reflections on 2015:
I have always prided myself on my ability to learn and adapt quickly. I think that learning from the past is extremely important and, amazingly, something lots of people fail to do. So what did I learn in 2015? A lot…
First of all I learned that I place way to much weight on other people’s opinions of me, but only those close to me. Like a boyfriend for example. I was in a relationship for a big chunk of this year and I feel like I completely threw my own individuality out the window. Which, in the end, did not end up working out well. I really wanted to be the person he wished I was, instead of being who I actually am. Which, when written out in a sentence, seems pretty messed up (and is). So I learned to stay true to myself, or rather, I learned what happens when I don’t stay true to myself and instead let someone else have more power over me than I do. I would not advise.
Second, I learned that I am extremely stubborn. If I don’t want to do something, I won’t. On the contrary, when I do want to do something, I will be the best at it. I learned this by going back to college. When I went to college the first time, I really didn’t want to go. I failed my college algebra class, I dropped out, it was a complete mess. I went back to college this year and actually wanted to be there. As a result, I got a 4.0 (including college algebra) which was surprising to me and reassuring that I am not dumb, as my ex had me pretty convinced I was.
Third, I learned that I am very introverted. Maybe I wasn’t always, but I now know I am. Understanding that and catering to that has changed my life. I now make it a point to spend time with myself and do things with myself and as I result I feel calmer and more in control of situations. In the past I felt like I always had to be with people and if I spent time alone that was sad and depressing, and breaking that notion in my mind has made me much more healthy.
The most important lesson I learned this year is to not compromise who I am for anybody around me. Individuality is one of the most important things in life and I have given mine up way too much. I will not make that mistake again.
I think I have changed more this year than any other year in my life. I am a completely new person and I am being given the opportunity to re-invent myself in a way. Starting at a new school in a new career with new people is kind of exciting! I can’t want to see where I am one year from now, and I can’t wait for everything to start.