Growing As An Artist | Failing And Accepting Change

I like drawing. I really do. I used invested time and effort into practicing and sharing my work. I watched tutorials and practiced anatomy. My Instagram was full of figure sketches. But a few months ago something changed for me. When I drew, I didn’t feel happy. I didn’t feel inspired or satisfied with my art. Everything I drew started to look the same, feel the same. I didn’t know what was happening to me. The art high was dying off. I was watching it shrivel up before my eyes and I had no idea why.

I’ve taken a break from drawing. Recently I opened by Google pictures and looked through my saved art pictures. A few jumped out to me.

The pictures that jumped out to me were the odd ones, the ones that didn’t make a lot of sense, the ones that were abstract and strange to me. The pictures that jumped out at me were the ones I worked on at three A.M, my hand shaking, not knowing what exactly I was drawing, but following the lines anyway. These pictures may not seem so strange to others, but for me they were completely different to all the other pieces I had worked on and struggled to perfect. These pictures didn’t focus on anatomy, perfect shading or realism. These are the pictures that jumped out at me through the gallery.

I think the reason I was not enjoying my art is that I had gotten comfortable, comfortable with my art style and characters. I wasn’t changing or growing as an artist. I was staying the same, feeling okay about my art but never amazing. And that’s when the passion began to die.

These pictures are strange and vague to me. I don’t know what sort of emotion they are suppose to convey, but I know that they do convey emotion. They hint at story, at motion, at something actually happening. My normal art was stiff and formal, unable to tell stories.

This experience has taught me to never be afraid of creating something different or strange. Taking that chance to create something different might save your creative passion, your drive to carry on and create more. It can give you opportunities you’d never thought were possible. It can show you things about yourself you never knew before. Maybe this is getting a little too deep, but out of all the pictures I drew these fascinate me the most. These are the ones that pop out as different, unnatural. And I love them.

I created a lot art in 2016, a lot more than in any other year of my life. I hope to create even more in 2017. I’m going to draw whatever comes to mind, I’m going to practice anatomy and how to draw actually draw necks. But I won’t trap myself in a box because I’m afraid of change. Change is what makes my art better, it’s what makes me still want to make art. Change is important and amazing and something I am going to focus on this year.

Thanks for reading.

(Thanks for reading lovelies! Tell me what you think! I just started blogging so yeah I hope ya liked it :3 )