Do you ever have a “day of nothingness?” You wake up late, sit in bed all morning, eat a late brunch or whatever you want to call it, and by the time you truly open your eyes it is already 4 pm. One thing I have noticed about myself is that “nothingness” sucks the energy out of me. In fact, I feel more tired when I have nothing on my plate. This is likely a product of my “wandering mind,” constantly searching for a stimulus to fixate upon…
Life without structure is in fact a treacherous road. It is not the lack of routine that scares me but rather the lack of purpose. In fact, I do not mind freedom. I thrive with an open range ahead. I like dealing with ambiguity. But I hate thinking about and not acting upon uncertainty. I hate the looming presence of the unknown that I cannot execute against.
Routine-less, structureless, empty days are interesting. I think they are especially interesting for particularly curious people. People who, by default, enjoy exploring. Empty days are harder for people who need a rope to follow. They default to their vices and never expand their boundaries.
These past few days have been nothing.
But when days begin to blur together and I am simply wandering aimlessly for months (days are fine), then I blink and ask myself what have I become?
I find myself tired and uninspired whenever I do nothing. If learning slows down time, I find “doing nothing” morphs time all together. It compresses memories into one blob. An ugly blob.
It can be healthy to do nothing every once in a while…but a life of gray is impossible. Is that a life? Are we living?
You come out tired, obese, and boring.
I am trying to iterate upon my default position.
Originally published at Jordan Gonen.