evil and rude
I think there is a big difference between being “evil” and being “rude.” And, while I think neither attributes are particularly positive qualities, I find it important to separate the two when making judgements about another person.
Rude people are often confused for evil people, but in fact I think that very rarely there is a 1:1 overlap. I believe that most people are more good than evil. I think of evil as just plain bad — people who want to see others fail, people who get joy out of destruction, people who are rooting actively against you.
Rude people, on the other hand, are rough around the edges. Perhaps they interrupt you, perhaps they make mean comments, but they are not doing so in your honor (or despise). They are doing so, likely, because they do not really care much about you or what you have to say OR because they are just trying to have a conversation with any sort of guards down.
Nowhere in that distinction did I mention that rude people are evil. Rude people do not necessarily want you to suffer. They are not actively working against you.
Rude people are just rough. It actually may mean they care.
Someone would call me rude. Some others would call me extremely passionate. I care…I care about the long term and I care about the truth and some times getting to the truth takes some direct words.
I am working on my tone…I am working on not interjecting my opinion all of the time. But what I will not change is my stance towards “fake” things…I will not stand by as I feel it often my duty to help people inch their way towards the truth.
I had a conversation with a friend about this yesterday, as I explained the fine line between being rude and being helpful.
A problem I struggle with often, though not particularly unique, this is something I actively think about.
Originally published at Jordan Gonen.