I think, for some reason or another, I expected to come to college and find people who were just like me.
I cannot really complain. I am in an amazing place — with tons of opportunity — but still, I manage to find this flaw.
I think this comes from a few things.
- I think everyone wants to feel unique. Perhaps there are people more like me — just my bias prevents me from seeing that. My personal bias wants me to feel different, when in reality, I may just be like everyone else.
- It could also be my perception of what “friendship” should look like. What are the expectations? Growing up, I always had a close group of friends who were very similar to me. I have written before about the importance of “old friends” — we played sports together, went to dinner together, traveled the world together. I loved it. This was a super unique opportunity. We are still great friends and I really enjoy that group.
Here in college, however, I have yet to find that. And I did not, really, expect to find a “replacement” to my former friends. Rather I wanted to find complements. Different, but still the same.
Yet I really have not. Which is okay. Life is not bad. Life is good. I have so much to be thankful/grateful for — there is so much to look forward to in this world.
It’s just much better, and more promising, to look through the lens of a world with people pushing you to be better.
Socially, I could do a much better job of pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. Although I make a deliberate effort — I need to do that more. I crave experiences. I want to travel, go out, play sports, etc. I say yes a lot, but I need to, purposefully, keep going for it.
Professionally — and this is much more surprising to me — I have yet to find people here at school who think of things the same way.
I am not sure that this is a unique problem. Perhaps everyone runs into that. Or perhaps, maybe it is a good thing. I am not sure.
I just wish I had people who thought very similarly to me in this regard. I wish I had people who pushed me further outside of my comfort zone when it comes to exploring my “professional” interests.
Do not get me wrong, people here are way more intelligent than me in the classroom. There is nothing wrong with that.
I just do not get much validation from that. I want more.
Most important to me is growing as a person. I think growth gives me fulfillment which gives me energy and makes me happy.
Originally published at Jordan Gonen.