Dear future version of Jordan, this blog post is a reminder. This is a super simple message that present Jordan (aged 21) wishes someone had warned previous Jordans about (especially 18 year old Jordan). This is a simple idea that current Jordan hopes future Jordan will remember.
Follow this one rule, Jordan, and you will have many more friends and positive relationships.
Perhaps this rule will change, but probably not. Humans are humans. Cultures change, sure, but the following is rather constant — rooted in biology.
The simple message? People do not like being told what to do.
I know your mind is already formulating a counter-argument to this claim. “People just want to fit in, they want to conform, they want a purpose. Most people respect authority and want them to pass down recipes, instructions, etc.”
That rebuttal does make me question whether or not I really believe this statement.
Perhaps people do want to be told what to do…? They want recipes, not ambiguity?
I thought about this for a while and I have an answer. The key, and important to add, is that people still do not want to be told what to do UNLESS they opt-in for the advice.
They have to opt-in. Consent. They have to ask for your help.
This is critically important and something I used to glaze over all the time.
Involving others in the decision making process for anything is super important and valuable and Jordan — you will lose friends by not. You will fail to build companies. You will do everything wrong if you think you are doing it alone. :)
Originally published at Jordan Gonen.