The smartest people in the room will always ask you questions.
Why? It goes back to that fundamental idea that the smart people get immediately: people just want to feel important. Most conversations fall in that category — where one person is searching for ego and the other person has to make a choice: either support that other person — or fight for their own ego.
The best communicators are the people who not only understand, but also implement that mindset in what they do. They understand humans. And that is a big differentiator.
It is very easy to talk about one’s self. Everyone likes doing it. But, if you think two steps ahead, you can use that core, fundamental value in humans to your advantage.
You already know, going into 99% of conversations, that people enjoy:
- giving advice
- talking about themselves
- answering questions
I’m learning more and more the importance of understanding human psychology as you go on to do so many different things in life. This applies to so many different situations. Whether you are hiring someone, or walking into a job interview — whatever the circumstances look like — there is a super high chance that that conversation stems from some sort of core human emotion/characteristic.
Again, just food for thought, but it has really impacted the way I view conversations.
To me, there is not point in over analyzing step by step each and every conversation that you do. Especially not the social ones. You’ll lose friends that way.
But it is nonetheless super interesting to take a step back every once in a while and just listen. Hear how people talk. What are they saying? What do they mean by what the say?
Originally published at Jordan Gonen.