It’s a pretty sad state of affairs when 99% of porn sites still have a landing page that says, “you must be 18 or older to enter.” Does anyone really think horny teenagers are seeing these warnings and leaving? That’s a joke.

It’s nice to notify people about age restricted content warnings. But a 2-3 second lightbox popup notification on a user’s first and only visit will do the trick (and it won’t murder your conversion rate on first site visits).

So yeah…. Umm…..I have a two part method to finally quiet down that Cameron dude.

Part #1: Deal with the reality of the issue.

People need to recognize that there is a big big difference between a 15 year old watching porn and a 15 year old being featured in porn. Anyone who equivocates the two is just… annoying?

If you were 15, and you had a computer with internet access in your home. You watched porn. If you didn’t you’re probably a weirdo now.

If you are 50 years old now, then when you were 15 you looked at “nudie magazines”. It’s just what we all do, and there’s nothing wrong with it.

Where there is sufficient demand, supply will find a way.

Kids need sexual education. It helps avoid a lot of problems later in life. I don’t think porn is at all the answer to that. But these days we’re basically the only game in town. Until parents stop equating nipples with Satan, we’ll remain the only game in town. And that’s a bad thing.

But porn isn’t bad. Teenagers watching porn isn’t bad. And if you think for a second anyone is ever going to stop those little brats. You’re silly.

Part #2: Lobby Apple, and let them fix this one too.

Our iPhone’s know how old we are. And they’re going to keep learning a lot more about us.

Age-restricted apps (related to alcohol or something like that) already exist in the App store. But porn is categorically blocked.

If it weren’t blocked, porn would become an app. There’d be lots of apps. But content producers (the new fApp developers) would be able to actually take real steps towards making age restricted content, restricted to “appropriate ages”.

For now, you’re all too weird about sex and won’t talk about it. Apple knows that. If people will start expressing to Apple that they’d like to see porn in the App store, Apple will listen, and it will happen (but Google might hear and do it a few months earlier, then Apple will do it way cooler).

Until the people that use/view porn (everyone) stops being little scaredy cats and starts talking about it (don’t worry your pastor watches porn too), we’re all in trouble.

Companies don’t have opinions. They watch the trends, analyze data, and make their best guesses about where things are heading. When they start to get the vibe that they can be “ok with porn” without losing much business, they’ll do it, fast.

They could even lose some business, as long as they don’t lose position. Because those juicy porn profits will very much offset a few jesus freaks boycotting Apple. The Amish have been doing it for years and Apple’s doing fine.

Porn is important, it’s a major economic force. We’re tired of a small minority of blowhards fucking up our deals. So if you watch our shit, even if you steal it, show some appreciation and talk about how porn should be in the App store. Where you talk about it doesn’t really matter. Apple will see/hear every word ☺.

Thank you for reading,

Jordan Laubaugh
Google +
Snapchat: JordanLaubaugh

P.S If you absolutely loved this post, it would mean a whole heck of a lot to me if you would scroll down and press the Recommend button. If you just kind of liked it, no pressure!