You’re a Failing Writer and Always Will Be
But that goes for every writer you’ll ever know
You want to become a successful writer, but you don’t like the way failing feels. Here’s a hard truth — You’re a failure and always will be… but you’re not alone, I’m a failure, we’re all failures. Simply put, the fear of failure never leaves our side, but the sooner we fall in love with failing itself, the quicker that fear will diminish, opening the gates of opportunity to sweet Success.
Hold my hand because we’re in for a bumpy ride as we try to dissect the fear of failure and talk about tried and tested methods to overcome this irrational fear. Let’s dive in before we lose our mojo.
What is holding you back from becoming a writing success story?
So my question to you is — what are you afraid of? Well, naturally, you’re most likely to answer by highlighting the billion and one things that threaten your existence as a writer and lead you to obscurity.
As humans, we’re evolutionarily programmed to exhibit fear in the event of danger —
it’s your survival instinct.
But what happens if fear is stalling your progress, or worse, stopping you from being able to achieve your dreams of professional writing? According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental disorder, this is classified as atychiphobia, or in everyday terms, a fear of failure.
Comment down below if you’ve ever been in a scenario where you’ve set in motion a day to exclusively write an article, but as soon as you boot up the command centre, you convince yourself that your topic is too boring, your title lacks that oomph, you’re not in the right mind state to write for hours, it’s too hot, you woke up too late or you’re missing that creative spark that others seem to have. Be realistic with this next answer — did tomorrow fall prey to the same negative thought patterns as today?
I’m not here to point fingers for father I have sinned! Take a look at my last diary entry in 2019 ( below). My one task above all else was to stream on Twitch, did i accomplish this act? NOT EVEN CLOSE. Isn’t it ironic that directly beneath that focal task I had also been putting off a visit to the dentist’s surgery. What’s the common denominator that ties together my avoidance of both pressing activities? Now finally, this is an easy answer — The Fear of Failure.
Why is putting pen to paper such a scary prospect?
Given that we now know what a fear of failure is, it’d be logical to delve deeper into the why.
Before I go any further, let me introduce to you my dear friend, the Ego. He may appear confident and talk the talk in passing, but within his own mind palace, he dwells in pessimism, is risk-averse, and afraid to take on any projects that could lead to pain or judgement in the court of public opinion. Before you all draw your pitchforks, hear me out, it’s not all this little guy’s fault, there are in fact a number of factors that have attributed to us becoming cautious.
As children, authoritative figures instil within us the distinction between what is right and what is wrong. This is especially pertinent when you’re new to writing on Medium. Not knowing which path toward growth on Medium is right or wrong, individuals form the habit of mimicking the identity and habits of their favourite writers. Sadly, after several iterations of being told by top writers, Medium authority figures, Reddit threads, YouTube videos and external blogs to not write within a particular topic area, we become hesitant to express our unique personalities, or worse, too afraid to click the ‘Publish’ button, and instead seek permission and validation for our conduct. As our brains develop, we subconsciously internalize this fear-based mindset which ultimately becomes our default preset before committing to any form of writing.
“He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat” — Napoleon Bonaparte
Another factor influencing our fear of failure is perfectionism. For many, unless their vision of perfection is attainable, that individual, at the fear of humiliation and taking a blow to their self-esteem, would rather choose not to release a lesser embodiment of their work. I’d speculate that a large proportion of writers suffering from the fear of failure spend an inordinate chunk of their time stressing over SEO, choosing a clickbait-worthy title and a complementary image instead of organizing their day around the act of writing itself. This largely contributes to the pressure of perfectionism, and once that high standard has been set, anything subpar creates the illusion of failure, and any rational thought pertaining to the quality of the effort and the potential for a new outlook is ignored and devalued.
Apply this to the process of writing. If after submitting your article to a publication you receive relatively few views, reads, claps or comments, or say your article doesn’t get curated, a direct association is formed between that experience and your adherence to perfectionism, influencing your belief that your writing style is less than optimal for the readers’ acceptance.
A third contributor to our fear of failure is the outcome that most of us strive for, and that’s success. Everyone likes a bite of the cherry, but some individuals become so absorbed by the taste of their past glories that they end up living within this perfect, unbreakable bubble of success and nothing else. The vast majority of writers, both veterans and newcomers, at some point fall into the vicious bubble of heavily monitoring their stats page. You’ve just seen your latest article on the trending page, yet, you promised yourself you wouldn’t allow stats to dictate your personal perception of success, but the endless notification popups tickle your curiosity to click the eye of Sauron to see hundreds of fresh views, reads and fans!
The next article you publish, you notice that your notifications are silent but for a few of your regular followers, so you do the exact same to see that that the previous influx of views and reads are nonexistent and become disheartened by this perceived failure.
Too many bites of the cherry and you start to feel sick.
Unfortunately, the longer you sit within the bubble of success, the more you lose sight of the important role that negative experiences play on the road to success. This is when their fear of failure starts to envelop the inner lining.
Mental hacks to overcome the fear of failure
At this point, self-doubt is creeping in and you might be asking yourself — if the fear of failure is omnipresent and all-consuming, am I destined to fail? And to that I say, this is where we take our stand and fight!
To rally your spirits, I’d like to remind you that ‘the’ Thomas Edison’s teachers told him he was “too stupid to learn anything”. The irony is that he became the teacher when he dropped invention after invention!
1. Step one in our battle against the fear of failure is to identify the source of the fear. Are you afraid that people will judge you on the merits of your writing style or topic choice? Do you fear that you don’t have as much time as your cowriters to write consistently every day? Do you fantasize about the adoration from thousands of followers lavishing you with kindness, claps, mailing list sign-ups and 100% reads, but in reality, you don’t receive that same level of devotion from your readers? Or is it that you are under the impression that you need to mimic trending topics and titles to be compared in the same breath as the “best writers”, but you don’t feel adequately prepared to deviate from your writing style, or to branch out to a new niche that makes you feel uncomfortable?
With the knowledge of potential causes at hand, I’d like you to analyze each with the specific intention of deciding if they resonate with your fear of failure. Take the backseat role of a family member or friend, and jot down any triggers and life events that could have onset the fear. By defining the fear, its strength is diminished and returns to you.
2. Step two, Don’t confine beliefs about your goal within the construct of success or failure alone. This is too all-or-nothing. Be specific about what you’d like to achieve, but be sure to combine it with the opportunity to learn something new. Remember, your success is not dependent on how many views you have, or the amount of hours per day you grind to become a more skilled writer. Use your honeymoon period in writing to create a brand surrounding yourself, aspects of your personality and skillset, which enhance the enjoyment factor of writing for both yourself and your followers. Get creative with your titles and content, start a Discord server that promotes fun, interaction and emotional synergy with present and prospective Medium followers.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill
Fail early and fail fast. It’s only normal that the more creative you are, the greater the risk for introducing error. The ultimate goal is to persuade your ego that the spoils of war were worth fighting for, win or lose. This provides the ego a platform to revel in the success, or to showcase those cool battle scars borne from failing.
3. The third step, and one that is often used within Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, is to replace negative self-talk with positive mental scripts. This can be accomplished by identifying intrusive negative thoughts early and instead being mindful to focus on the positive value that your writing will provide to Medium readers who are sat bored at work and looking for inspiration and thought-provoking articles to stimulate their brains to get through the slog of their 9–5, or for Medium members feeling lonely and in need of a friend to share their thoughts and feelings with. If not for yourself, do it for them. The only failure for both parties is a no-show.
4. Next up, as humans, we tend to be irrational and catastrophize without assessing all possible outcomes. In the grand scheme of your life, how bad is the worst case scenario of your writing not living up to your own standards? Will readers even remember, or care, if you struggled to find a rhythm or not in your narrative. Will they judge you harshly for your lack of jokes or for not being able to maintain energy in your writing throughout the article, and if so, isn’t that more of a reflection on their insecurities than your own? Will they boldly choose to never read your articles again if one entry didn’t hit the mark? I’d fathom not. Like success, the pain of failure is fleeting and often times temporary. Disclaimer, if it’s going to lead to death, debt or prison, you might want to hold off doing that thing!
5. Lastly, it goes for saying that a writer should always have a backup plan. Imagine your life if Medium went under. In the context of your current ventures, is there another social media platform that you’re utilizing to create content? Moreover, were you too hasty in your decision to quit your job to “follow your passion” of becoming a top Medium writer? If you are considering the prospect of leaving your secure job to achieve your dreams of becoming a full-time content creator, do yourself the favour of reading this blog post first.
Not only does a backup plan inspire confidence to take a gamble in your pursuit of plan A, but it also minimizes the disappointment should you not attain the outcome you hoped for.
The next time you fail, I want you to dust yourself off like Rocky Balboa and ask :- What did I learn? How can I grow from this? Did anything positive come from this situation?
To close up shop, remember that fear is a healthy response to danger. Failing is a crucial step toward self-actualization, perfection is subjective, and only you hold the key to your true potential.
