There’s a paved road.

It’s called, “Capitalism” and “Patriarchy” and “Racism” and “Religion.”

That road offers you certainty. Certainty about who you need to be in order to be considered worthy.

If you’re a man, you need to be rich, white, and be able to kick anyone’s ass.

If you’re a woman, you need to be white and skinny with an hourglass figure.

And if you’re non-binary, you need to pray.

Those are the rules of the paved path.

Why are you trying so hard to obey these rules?

Why are you trying so hard to impress the people you feel the loneliest with? …

Before I even set a goal, I can tell if I am going to achieve it or not.

This is because it has nothing to do with the actual goal, it has everything to do with my mindset.

If I set a goal from a mindset of scarcity, I will fail. Doesn’t matter if it is easy or hard. The weight of a scarcity mindset either crumbles me before I start or has me selling my soul to prove my worth.

The worst thing isn’t failing to achieve a goal. It’s selling your soul to achieve it.

Scarcity and goals don’t mix.

The scarcity mindset sees your goals as a way to prove your worth. …

1. I am sorry your inner world holds so much pain.
2. I am sorry for how your inner system has had to adapt to this world.
3. There is nothing wrong with you. You adapted the way you had to in order to endure the energy you had to endure.
4. I am sorry you had to endure what you had to endure.
5. I hope the parts of you who have been shown nothing but harshness get shown kindness soon. Even if they say they don’t want it.
6. I hope you can wrap your arms around the parts that are hurting and send them love, even if no one else will. …

Damn fine people.

I’ve spent my entire life feeling lonely.

Moving around a lot didn’t help. But the loneliness I’ve experienced isn’t really on the outside. It’s on the inside.

I’m a really deep person. And most people just…don’t seem to be that deep, bro.

In one of Glennon Doyle’s books, I think maybe Untamed, she tells the story of her daughter crying in bed with her eyes closed saying, “It’s just so lonely in here.”

And I was like yes. That.

It’s just so lonely in here.

I’ve met very few people who have made me feel less lonely inside. And most of them I met in 2020. …

Trying to be cool.

I moved schools for the first time when I was 9. During recess, I sat on a bench and watched the other kids play, hoping someone would talk to me.

No one did.

The loneliness I experienced on that bench was too much for my 9-year-old body to handle. So I started studying.

I watched how the other kids played. How they dressed. How they talked. Which kids were admired and which kids were made fun of.

Then I did my best to play, dress, and talk like the cool kids.

It worked.

Within a matter of days, I was having sleepovers with the popular girls. …