Is Self care — the answer we have all been looking for?
By Greg Jordan
When we hear the words ‘self-care’ it can bring up many ideas, concepts or pictures in our minds, ranging from laying on the beach, getting a massage, watching a movie , a holiday or even personal hygiene. But are these really about self-care or just the pictures we have been sold?
Now I take care of myself more than I ever did before. What I have discovered from learning to self-care is that self care firstly requires a huge amount of honesty in order to be able to feel and expose where we truly are at, in relation to how we feel in our bodies. With honesty, we can realise the levels of abuse we have allowed and have been living with. Through honesty and calling out our unloving ways, by simply nominating them (and I don’t mean beating ourselves up about it), we can start getting somewhere towards learning to self-care. And, by that, I don’t mean martyrdom or self sacrifice either as that goes under the column of self abuse.
So to me, self-care is all about making better choices that support the body or rather the mind, body and soul to be able to be in optimum condition so we can be of true help to the world in all aspects of our lives.
Self-care helps to make us selfless more than selfish by being responsible rather than irresponsible.
Why is self care so important?
In a world where illness and disease are set to bankrupt governments and medical systems, it is definitely worth the time to take stock and stop pointing the finger at everything else but our own part in this through our reactions or distractions. A lack of self care, through irresponsibility and disregard, plays a big part in our world’s current health statistics especially relating to preventable disease such as diabetes etc.
Self -care is the foundation for everything. The most supportive way we can be ourselves, productive and responsible and still shine in a world that, in truth, is not always shinning is through self-care. Could self-care be the answer in the world we have all created with all its complications, corruption, disharmony and abuse.
Through self-care and learning to feel or connect to my body, and then learning to listen to what it is saying through feelings, has helped stop me being driven by a mind that seems very disconnected to its body with its forever long list of boxes to tick, responsibilities, deadlines and distractions.
For many men the concept of Self-Care seems even more distant than for our female friends. As a man I have noticed how we can avoid looking after ourselves, even to the point of not going to a doctor or asking for help even when we are very sick or ill. Or, waiting till we have heart disease or prostate cancer, irreversibly, before seeking medical help or intervention. Why are men like this? Are we not worthy? Have we just sold out to the many concepts, ideals and beliefs of having to be the strong, tough — Trojan like workers, soldiers, providers etc. Or maybe it stems from being constantly told as children to harden up and that boys don’t cry. That’s how it was in my era at least. .
Learning to say no and yes at the same time
When learning new things we need to take it slow by being honest and by nominating or exposing where we are at with our bodies . Then ask ourselves whether some of the things we do, or our ways, really support us? Or is it just an old story or record playing out on a sort of auto pilot. So learning to say no to things that don’t support us, like watching another DVD or show on TV when you are already tired or that second or third helping of food when already full . Embracing and saying yes to things that support, replenish and rejuvenate us, helps build a body of love or a kingly body as wise man Buddha once said.
Although self-care may feel like a new frontier or foreign ground, I can assure you of the benefits of even starting to consider that we always have a choice in how we live and that we can change even the most ingrained of behaviours.
The best part about self-care is there are no strict rules, no penalties, fines, judges or gate keepers. Just a forever deep pool of wisdom — there for all of us to form a relationship with. It is time to dive in or at least put our feet in the water, so that we can learn to deepen our relationship with ourselves and learn to stop the cycles of self abuse and self sabotage through our ill choices. As it is our lack of self-care that keeps us feeling disconnected, stressed out, strung out, low or lesser — instead of sparking like the diamonds that we truly are .
And guess what? We are all worth it. That’s right, all of us.
Self-care is about equality and brotherhood and is also free, with no monthly subscriptions, or payment required and the results are amazing to feel, allowing for more space, energy and commitment to life whereby anything is possible.
I would like to share a website where some good friends of mine volunteer their time, writing and producing articles. It has an amazing section on self-care (link), that is very inspiring, as well as insightful, and the whole website has many great articles, video and audios.