Communique :: November 10, 2000, 9:25 AM
You sport I want a baseball? Baseball is numbers you know. Every one shot I get, two bounce back. I walked that into where I saw the blue spoon on the table and I said “gee gad damn it” because it was brighter than my eyeball was, at least from where I was standing. It shook there for a minute as if it was waiting for me to get closer and I knew that it was going to pounce, pounce on my unsuspecting personality place that I was occupying there next to the table. I made my disposition arc straight up in the air toward the greasy mental which counter it was on and it made me scared of what it was going to do on top of the place where I was but I tried to stomp on it anyway. I did. I watched where it flew straight end on end to the floor. It jumped off the table and shined light on me and landed on both feet on the ground where it yelled and me in japanese and then told me and it was going to slice me up for dinner and I don’t speak japanese normally so I asked the green spoon what it said and he told me that I shouldn’t worry what it said because if I didn’t understand then it wouldn’t hurt me as much. I forgot what he promptly said and put it in my pocket. I found some change and I noticed that all of my coins were also speaking in japanese so I knew that they must have the counter fit like the blue spoon. So I went under my bed and broke my friend’s belly open. All the digestibles screamed in japanese and told me that I was going to die so I threw them in the kitchen dispenser but it broke so I had to throw them out my window and some people yelled and me because the infected coins I threw out the window attacked them and tried to kill them instead of me like they told me. So I picked up the blue spoon and ate breakfast by the time that it got dark and I had to turn more lights on. Then I tried to turn the noise down on the tv again.
Originally published on November 10, 2000.