Autism Speaks, and It’s Telling Allistics to Shut Up

Good morning, everyone! It is April 6th and I am already sick to death of Autism “Awareness” Month.

First of all, “awareness” is a ridiculous concept. The vast majority of people have heard of autism. If anything, we’d prefer a whole lot less of this particular brand of awareness.

Now, let’s talk allistics. An allistic (“person with allism”, for those of them who prefer person-first language so much) is a person who is not autistic. #TurnItDownTaupe for the poor allistics.

But really, allistics, let’s chat. You love to chat. Y’all will absolutely not stop talking during the month of April, and I have had it.

At this point, I’ve had the same conversations so many times that I have an intro like I’m in Autistics Anonymous. Hi, my name is Jo, and I’m an autistic. Yes, I’m really autistic. No, my ability to write sentences does not prove that I’m not autistic. No, it’s not a “different type” than your nephew in Wyoming. Yes, I do “seem normal”, because autism is normal.

Let’s start with some preconceptions of autism.

Autism is four times more prevalent in boys than girls.

FALSE. Autism is underdiagnosed in AFAB (assigned female at birth) children, in part because of this preconception and in part because we as a society have been socializing girls differently from boys for millennia. Many autistic AFAB children are diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, or “not like other girls”. While boys are socialized in ways that allow them to move their bodies, make noise, and speak their minds, girls are taught from an incredibly early age to be quiet, polite, and unobtrusive; as a result, autistic AFAB children are more likely to present as “just a little out of it”. If you’re a more outspoken or rigid child (me), you also get told you “would make a great lawyer”, which, as Dank Law Memes on Twitter correctly pointed out, is just a socially accepted way to call a child a bitch. (To be fair, I was and am a bitch, but still.)

All this to say: girls are probably equally likely to be autistic, but they’re underdiagnosed.

Autism is a developmental disability.

MOSTLY FALSE. Autism can be comorbid with developmental disabilities, including language delays, processing struggles, and mobility issues. However, autism is not, in and of itself, a developmental disability.

Autistic people are less able to communicate.

FALSE. We have blogs. We have Twitters. We have body language. Even nonverbal autistics are quite capable of communication — if you take the time to understand us.

Autism is caused by (vaccines/GMOs/milk/not enough crystals in the birthing chamber/whatever).

FALSE. I will not be dignifying this nonsense with any further response. This research has been done over and over. (And yes, the milk thing did happen, it’s from PETA, look it up. It’s the “got autism?” campaign and it’s equal parts hilarious and horrifying.)

There are different types or levels of autism.

FALSE. Like any other condition in the world, including hair color, everyone’s experience of autism is different. There are no quantifiable “levels” of autism. There are also no “types” of autism; some people will point to Asperger’s, but Asperger was a Nazi and his name was removed from the DSM, so that’s that.

Autism can be cured.

FALSE.

Autism should be cured.

FALSE. Most autistics very loudly do not want to stop being autistic.

Autism is not normal.

FALSE. Autism is normal. Based on the CDC report that 1 in 44 children are diagnosed with autism, over two percent of the population is autistic; that’s at least as many autistics as redheads. And that’s only people who are diagnosed; diagnosis is an expensive and frequently inaccurate process, in part due to stigma, so it’s safe to say that the number is higher.

ABA helps autistics.

FALSE. Applied Behavioral Analysis is a) literally worse than dog training, b) the brainchild of the same person who invented conversion therapy, and c) deeply traumatic for autistics. Stop it.

The people who are best able to express what autistic people need are their families.

FALSE. The people who are best able to express what autistic people need are autistic people.

So now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s talk April.

Every single year, I think, hey, maybe this year it won’t be so bad. After all, people are learning. And then I see the same things I see every year. This year, the police in my hometown got special badges for April with puzzle pieces on them. (For more information on the puzzle piece, try this or this or this or just Google it.) A now-ex-friend posted about her new job with Autism Speaks. (For more information on Autism Speaks, you could check out this or this or this or, again, just Google it.)

Like a good autistic soldier, I marched into what was already a very messy thread in one of the town Facebook groups, where a potentially well-meaning member reposted a photo of the badges and encouraged people to buy them, with proceeds going to the Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation, a local organization that has pretty much all the same problems as Autism Speaks, just on a smaller scale. As of this posting, there are over a hundred comments on the post, many of them in support. To my surprise and relief, a number of the comments are pushing back and educating, but there are still people at this moment comparing autism to cancer and actively choosing to ignore autistic voices.

And it’s not just this thread! Every year, in every space, I have to have these conversations, even with the most well-meaning people, and it is exhausting. I’ve spent the last several years going through this every single April, and every year I get a little less patient and friendly. Now we’re here.

And again, we don’t need awareness. We need acceptance. We need the world to meet us where we’re at instead of trying to change us.

Allistics, this message is for you, and I say it with as much love as I can muster:

Shut up.

We can speak. We do speak. We do not need you to speak for us or over us. If you truly care about the comfort of autistic people, sit down, shut up, and listen. You cannot possibly support our goals if you don’t know what they are, and you cannot possibly know what they are if you assume you’ve already figured it out without talking to us.

The people who said I would make a good lawyer were right. And I am perfectly comfortable with being the bitchy autistic so that my autistic friends and family can live their lives without these conversations.

So just once, for the month of April, stop making autistics defend our existence and just… shut up.

EDIT 4/14/22: I am overwhelmed by the responses I’ve received — thank you so much! In addition to supporting me, please consider donating to organizations like the Autistic Women and Nonbinary Network!

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