An open letter to the one I just broke up with
I feel like it’s important to write why I did what I did last night. You may never read this, and that’s ok. You don’t have to write back, that’s ok too. Still getting it out helps get the thoughts out of my head.
When we went for breakfast last week and then my place, I was very close to telling you that I’m falling for you. Remember, when I said I forgot what I was going to say. I didn’t forget. I chickened out. It was for the best though. After you had left I started thinking about the future, and I knew it wasn’t right to expose you to me. The longer it continues, the more painful it will be in the end.
If you didn’t see through it already, the excuse I gave you regarding work being busy was complete garbage. All weekend I struggled with what to say, and in the end decided this was the least painful for you. Again, likely completely false. Being truthful is always the best idea. You have to understand that I don’t talk about what I’m going through with anyone, so it’s very very difficult for me to open up. I don’t want you hurt, and if you were to continue seeing me, you’d end up that why I’m afraid.
There’s so much shit I’m dealing with now some of it new but a lot of old bs. It’s affecting how I act, eat, interact, sleep, everything. You don’t need that in your life. You need a man to have your back. You need a man that doesn’t drag you down. You need a lover and a friend.
The urge is so strong to contact you. You made me actually happy. Something I haven’t felt in a long time. You are a happy, fun and great-looking woman, so I can’t help but feel I’ve made a terrible mistake. You would be very good for me, and that’s why I broke it off. It is not your responsibility to make be happy. You don’t need that burden.
I’m very sorry if I hurt you.