The best decision I never made
What is life, without a handful of surprises. Curve ball here. Slippery slope there. It’s the spice of life.
The bulk of my 20s was made up of forcing myself to make decision, after concious decision. A true beleiver in experience over education, i decided to leave college. I decided to find a job. I decided to travel instead of buy an apartment. I decided to go back to uni. I decided to ask my wife to marry me. I decided to eat that jam donut yesterday.
You get the picture. Its exactly like yours, perhaps minus a donut or wife.
I set stretch goals, acheived them, and moved to the next. Like a well oiled- machine. I made what seemed like the right choices.
Approaching mid to early 30, i was ticking off the proverbial bucket list at record pace. The cards were in place.
- Being in managment. Tick.
- Earning 6 figures. Tick.
- Happy & strong marriage. Tick.
- Great friends & family. Tick.
- Ran half-marathon. Tick.
- Luxury car. Tick.
- Travel. Tick.
- Buy & own a house. Tick.
Then the house of cards toppled. Hey, life was turning out — not as great — all of a sudden.
Lost my fancy car. Lost my shiny job. My money was tighter. Strained my relationships. I called it a day.
My boss says in dire situations, ‘you must be in a world of pain’. I was.
After a eurphoric twenties of unopposed ‘good decisions’. Life unravelled without my say.
The hard thing is you are ‘copywriting & patenting’ every decision you make. So you are judge and jury, and on trial for your own thoughts.
Once you identify with your decisions. You are your decisions. You are at risk of your identity being shaped by your decisions.
Identity = Decisions
Here’s what i’ve learned
- ‘Good decisions’ define and train your mind to pursue great things.
- ‘Bad decisions’ should define your willingness to learn from your mistakes.
But when decisions are made for you, by somebody else; the struggle is real.
Telling any person on this planet and enforcing it, that “you won’t get your way because of X , Y & Z”, never sits well with anyone.
I was made redundant, on the cusp of starting a family (kids etc). That sucks balls.
And sometimes life doesnt give you the courtesy of a reason at all. Leaving you to debate what you stand for… your identity. (Cue Zoolander bar scene; “Who am i?”)
It doesnt have to be that way
But being ‘out of control’ of a situation can sometimes be better than being ‘in control’. Why?
Losing it ‘all’ makes you appreciate the important things again. You can be a resentful prick or you can choose to re-discover, ‘why you do, what you do’ ….
Its an old adage but its true:
- Money isn’t everything
- Dont take life too seriously
- Value relationships with people
Adult Tip: Don’t be a prick.
I honestly hope you lose it all*
It will be the best decision you’ve never made.