Friendly Fire Will Not Be Tolerated!

Lesson #2 in my series: 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝑳𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝑰 𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑽𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒐 𝑮𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔

Life Lessons I Learned From Video Games — Josette Krause (photo by www.LameOrGame.com)

My family is in our game room, each seated at our favorite chair with our eyes glued to the television screen hanging on the wall above us. With our game controllers in hand, the atmosphere is tense as we silently observe our in-game surroundings. The volume to the television is turned up so that we’ll be able to hear the footsteps of our opponents as they approach our location.

I hear gunfire. I use my thumb stick to turn my avatar towards the sound. I see a spray of bullets on the screen, and then I hear my son yell out in the room, “Dada… stop! It’s me. You’re shooting me!” The gunfire stops and my husband meekly says, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were one of the other guys.”

But it’s too late. The mood has changed to one of frustration and upset. Not only has my husband damaged my son’s critical health bar (which should be full anytime you enter into battle), but he also gave away our location to the enemy. My son speaks out, “You need to pay attention to who’s around you!”

I’ve just described an episode of “friendly fire.” It happens when you fire upon your own allies, either my mistake or by misidentification of a hostile target. Some games will even pop up a warning that says, “Friendly Fire will not be tolerated!” And there can be an additional penalty in which points are deducted from your score.

I know it’s just a game, but it’s still serious business in our household. My kids are actually young adults, with my youngest about to turn 18 years-old. This makes me incredibly grateful that they still like to include mom and dad in the things that they enjoy, but it also means that we better keep up. If we’re part of the team, then we can’t be the weakest links. As we’ve experienced, that can get you killed (or replaced by a friend who has better skills)!

But isn’t this true in real life as well? You have a unit that you’re a part of, whether it’s your family, your friends, or a group of people with which you share common interests. And if you think about it, there is an underlying foundation that binds you together:

1. Trust — you know that they are there for you
2. They’ve Got Your Back — they watch over you
3. Support — you can lean on them when you need help
4. A Common Goal — there’s something that you want to accomplish together

When these basic fundamentals are observed and respected, then the team functions quite well. But how can “friendly fire” cause a disruption in our day-to-day social interactions?

Have you ever said the wrong thing and ended up hurting someone’s feelings when you didn’t mean to? We all make mistakes and things like this happen all of the time. When there’s no intention to do harm and when the issue is minor, “friendly fire” can be forgiven.

But there are times when that is not the case. An act of betrayal is one of the most common causes in which there ends up being severe consequences… Perhaps you trusted someone with a secret, and they ended up telling others. Maybe you were looking for them to stand with you, but they ended up on the other side of the argument. Perhaps you called when you needed to talk, but they ignored your pain and blew you off for something more fun.

In these circumstances, you need to heed the warning that the video game flashed before the screen, “Friendly Fire will not be tolerated!” Unfortunately, there are situations in which you need to detach yourself from the unit. This is probably one of the hardest life lessons that I’ve had to learn. Having a strong sense of loyalty is an admirable quality, but not if it keeps you tied to people who cause you continuous pain. Once trust has been broken, the foundation has cracked. Even if you’re able to make repairs, it will never be as strong as it originally was (and I’m not sure that those cracks ever truly disappear).

So as you go through the game of life (pun intended), hone your skills in terms of “Friendly Fire.” Learn to recognize when it’s a heartfelt mistake, versus an underlying violation of the principles behind your relationship. And take up the stance that any intentional harm WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!