Episode IV: A New Ho-Ho-Hope

Pop Cult is a series of music, news, videos and GIFs collected and gifted to you, from me, as your regular dose of the important and silly sides of pop culture.

As the poet Wizzard hath wrote, “It’s Christmaaaas!” If you’re not already in the holiday spirit, grab a mug of mulled wine/sequester a box of mince pies/ order in some Chinese, and enjoy a warm Pop Cult by the fire*. Now also available in YouTube playlist form!

Baby It’s Cold Outside is absolutely, 100% the most creeptastic Xmas song out there. A woman wants to leave a man’s house; the man uses emotional manipulation and possibly a date rape drug to stop her. Well, not in this case. For more re-workings of festive tunes that turn creepiness into awesomeness, check out #feministxmassongs.

Best moment: “I wish I knew how to break this spell” “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

For a more traditional take on Christmas, let JoJo sprinkle glitter dust and snow all over your holiday. She’s back, and she sings like that angel on top of your tree. Sleigh, JoJo. Sleigh.

Best moment: All the times you realise just how much she’s enjoying crushing this classic.

It wouldn’t be Christmas without a classic series releasing its latest blockbuster, and yet again, we’ve got red and green lightsabers to provide their own festival of lights. The only way to make this magical moment better is Jenny Nicholson. Her razor-sharp critiques of the franchise are witty, self-dialogue-driven masterpieces. No spoilers here, just hilarity.

Best moment: “Our friends can come back from the dead, if we all clap our hands together and believe!”

From one cracker of a YouTuber to another, in the shape of singer Tessa Violet. Her new EP reveals a captivating, dreamy sound belying smart, hard-edged lyrics, and no more so than on Haze. Get ready to find yourself staring at a screen, open-mouthed, with no idea where the last few minutes went.

Best moment: The fact that it’s just as outstanding — and transporting — at twice the speed.

Sticking with the theme of badass female singers, British singer-songwriter Dodie Clark is creeping up to that level of popularity which has her fans commenting: “Our secret princess is no longer our secret. And we love her even more for it.” Her new video, for Sick of Losing Soulmates, a song she first uploaded to YouTube a full year ago, is a joyous, heartbreaking, desperate creation which further normalises LGBT couples.

Best moment: “What the hell would I be, without you / Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth”

If you’re looking for even more female-driven content, Sweet/Vicious, created by Jennifer Kaytin Robinson, is a TV show about two vigilantes taking revenge on perpetrators of sexual assault. Not only does Sweet/Vicious address the terrible realities of its subject matter, but it does so during an engrossing plot involving fascinating, complex characters. It’s a world you will love inhabiting and never want to leave. Plus it’s hella funny.

Best moment: The endless wish fulfilment of seeing female protagonists beat up scum wins, but the dialogue is also killer. “I wouldn’t be Robin; Robin’s a bitch.”

Once you’ve absorbed and become absorbed by that world of hard-hitting issues and fists, slip into something more comfortable — by which I mean, the latest Fast & Furious installment. The ridiculousness rumbles on with tanks, *family*, submarines, *betrayal*, characters somehow not dying dozens of times over, and, incredibly, Academy Award-winning Imperator Furiosa.

Best moment: “We’re gonna need a bigger truck.” So good. So bad.

As well as delighting us in his role as Strong Policeman Who’s Now On The Protagonists’ Team for 16 years, turns out Dwayne Johnson is also a musical producer, just like Leo Bloom. Together with fellow Moana-ite and all-round god among humans Lin-Manuel Miranda, he has created Millennials: The Musical, a surprisingly tender look at a much-maligned generation. The music is predictably great and catchy, and the script is brilliant.

Best moment: “My FOMO is gone…with yoooou”

*The fire is in your mind. Do not start a fire in your bedroom/living room. Pop Cult and Pop Cult’s associates will not accept any responsibility for you conflagrating your house. Though hey, how great does fire smell? So good.

Other Pop Cult episodes
Episode I: Welcome to the madness: we have GIFs
Episode II: Let’s have some fun before the apocalypse!
Episode III: In the darkest night, the sun still shines