Expressing An Idea

Before we jump into this subject, let’s first tackle the definition of the word, “idea”. So, what is an idea? The dictionary definition states:
“a thought or suggestion as to a possible course of action”.
Words have meanings, so the meaning behind the word is important. The definition of idea has the words “suggestion” and “possible”, neither of them being concrete or undeniable. A suggestion is defined as:
“an idea or plan put forward for consideration”.
An Idea. So now we know that the words not only are related, because one has the other in its defined meaning, but they both do.
So now that we have that covered, let’s talk about implementing an “idea”. Say you have an idea for your place of business. No matter how invested in the idea, likely there are people above your level who need to approve of your idea or else it goes to the idea graveyard; where all “great” ideas go to die. You submit your idea, it comes back. If it comes back approved, you feel good. You feel validated. You feel like you have a strong understanding of this “area of expertise”, and you may even get rewarded by your company.
If, however, your idea gets rejected, you then feel rejected. You feel the opposite of validated. Your idea was either non implementable, meaning it is a bad fit for this environment, or it just was a flat out a bad idea. This, understandably, can make you feel anxious, lose morale and can even make you argumentative. You may feel like your idea wasn’t given the proper consideration, or that you weren’t given the proper amount of time to defend your position.
It is a wonderful thing to know that you are doing a good job, and can even be more wonderful to hear the praise of those around you, especially those who manage you, or are titled above you. It can be an equal level of emotion to feel rejected, but now in feelings that assume a lack of appreciation. Essentially your boss, or the governing body of your idea said, “your idea stinks. Better luck next time kid”. You fixate over it, you howl at the sheer audacity that they would so willy nilly reject your idea, instead of you considering that maybe what you asked them to consider, well maybe it actually was a bad idea, or at least a bad fit within your environment.
We, here in America, tout this idea that “failure is not an option”. I want you to consider that failure is the tails side of a coin. Well if failure is the tails side, guess what is the heads side? Yup, you guessed it; success is heads, failure is tails. So if “failure is not an option” then that means tails is not an option. You now have a fake coin that only has heads on both sides. If you try to use that as a means for purchasing goods and using that coin for legal tender, you will likely be scoffed at, because again, it’s a fake coin. Yet if “failure is not an option”, and that leads us to the scenario of carrying around a fake coin in our pocket, would that then mean that “failure is not an option” is a fake idea?
By fake, I mean bad, then yes, “failure is not an option” is a fake, or bad idea. Why? Well if it is not an option, and all it leaves you with is a fake coin, then that reasonably leads us to success is either derived at with a fake coin, or success is fake within this mindset. So to alienate failure, means to alienate success. That is to say, you are no longer living in the land of the fake. To accept failure is to accept success, which means you are now dealing within the land of the real. That doesn’t mean by embracing failure you’ll be successful, but what it means is that you can actually learn from that failure to lead you to success. In the same way one learns from flipping a coin landing tails side up over and over in determination of getting a heads side.
If you are like me, and have seen the Matrix movies, think of the idea of “failure is not an option” as taking the blue pill. The pill offered to Neo where he would wake up in his own bed and believe whatever he wanted to believe. Whereas accepting failure as part of success, a stepping stone and platform from which to learn to succeed. This is a form of taking the red pill and waking up in the land of the real. Did taking the red pill make Neo successful? No, it didn’t, but he now had the tools with which to build success.
I enjoy writing about what Ken Wilber goes into great detail regarding rejection projection. If you alienate failure, it is because you are alienating something you don’t like about yourself; the idea that you could fail, or that you are a failure. Since it is alienated, you cannot identify with it. If you cannot identify with it, it is now a foreign thing that makes you feel very uncomfortable. Because you can’t identify with it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t resonate within you. Your mind can know when you are fooling it, even if it is not a conscious thought. So this idea of failure is now projected onto others. Since you surely cannot fail, anything that remotely makes you feel like a failure is now attacking you, because it is pushing against that well of energy you are using to keep the concept, or idea of failure sufficiently alienated.
Going forward, when you submit an idea, whether in debate class, whether in the format of a thesis or dissertation, consider that failure is the most effective learning tool we have at our disposal. We are given a factual platform upon which to observe what transpired. You submitted your idea, thesis, dissertation, and it fell flat. Likely your idea, thesis or dissertation will have information guiding you through the process of why it was thought to be a bad fit. This is invaluable information, because now you have something observable. We initiated X, your result was Y, and while it may have been an unintended result, being that it ended up resulting in an unintended failure, but now we have an intended learning device. We knew going into it that you would get a pass or fail, we just expected to pass.
With this information we have something measurable. You can get objective points of view on our actions from colleagues, on the information of why it was a bad fit from possible peers to the decision maker, and you can get ideas on how to make a stronger argument for your idea, or a different idea altogether. Ultimately, you can use the reason for your failure as a spring board to your success.
If, however, we decide to have only an emotional reaction, say we get rejected and we effectively pout that we didn’t feel we got our day in court, likely we will shut down, lose morale, be less efficient at our job and probably won’t take the chance we did. It could easily prevent us from submitting another idea for fear it will also be shot down. We are losing the biggest asset we have, evidence. We have evidence to support why our idea passed, or failed. We have evidence that is measurable, can be interacted with and built upon for future success.
So when expressing an idea, leave yourself open to the option of failure. While failure isn’t the ultimate goal, learning to deal with failure can lead you to becoming a stronger worker, leader, lover, friend, colleague and genuinely good person. Failure isn’t meant to be universally discouraging. Failure is meant to be a learning device. If you choose not to learn from it, we have now effectively wasted our own time and the time of all parties invested in your idea.
Allowing ourselves to fail can not only help us learn, but it can also be used to keep us from being so uptight. If we cannot fail, then every part of our being needs to be invested in the idea of succeeding, if succeeding is indeed our main goal. Eating, living, breathing success is exhausting. While others on the outside may see you as successful, likely we will see ourselves as empty. Sure we are more comfortable in what others see as our success, sure we have some accolades under our belt, but again, we’re dealing with a fake coin, or in this case, a fake concept that we could actually succeed without failing. To honor a past failure is to honor our next attempt at success.
To put this into perspective, both Donald Trump and Anthony Scaramucci act as if they completely alienate failure. Do these two particular people appear to be successful? Perhaps they are in an environment that masks their failure and presents it as success. The reason multiple bankruptcies, defrauding people and being a sexual predator is seen as successful, is because they help co-opt you into their definition of success.
Another harm fixating on success while simultaneously alienating failure enacts, is it falsely inflates our ego. We feel we can only succeed even while shitting over everything we think we’re doing well. Having an ego is not a bad thing. Having an ego can help you with summoning the courage to speak in a public forum, or to ensure your ideas are taken seriously. To falsely inflate it however is to waste our own time, and waste the time of others we’ve convinced to hear us out. Rarely does a person with a falsely inflated ego provide information worth taking note when speaking solely for their ego’s sake.
American’s score lower than many/most advanced countries in all school subjects, and yet we feel best about ourselves. We sure have a healthy ego, based off of what evidence? The same evidence that suggests Donald Trump is successful? We have an ego problem in this country, and those truly egocentric manipulators can wrap others who alienate failure around their little fingers. They have mastered how to present faux-evidence in order to [subjectively] prove how correct they are.
Another quote? Don’t mind if I do. “For a solitary animal, egoism is a virtue that tends to preserve and improve the species; in any kind of community it becomes a destructive vice”. –Erwin Schrodinger