Networking Done Right with Jordan Harbinger
When Jordan Harbinger started the podcast, “The Art of Charm,” almost no one knew what a podcast was. After 11 years of running and hosting the show, it became one of the biggest podcasts with nearly four million downloads a month.
In his interview with Josh on Making Bank, Jordan reveals that after all those interviews with plenty of big and amazing names on the “Art of Charm,” one of the biggest takeaways surprised him and probably won’t be what you’d expect.
“The big takeaway is seeing how big deals conduct themselves behind the scenes.”
It wasn’t all the tips and advice that all his guests generously offered to his audience. Those were amazing and had tremendous value to him and his audience, to be sure, four million downloads doesn’t come from nothing, but the thing he noticed and really struck him time and time again was how those big names in business, sports, entertainment, personal development and so on, acted with their crew, their team, employees, and others when the cameras were off.
“It’s been great to see people like Russell Brand, Mike Rowe and Shaq be even cooler than they are in your mind.” He went on. “It’s been so disappointing to see other people who are 10,000 rungs below them on the ladder be diva A-holes. You find out the way they manage their time and the way everything is conducted behind the scenes is a hot mess. You go, ‘Oh, I never really want to do that.’ Me and my wife were like, ‘Okay, mentally note this for like 5, 10 years from now. When you’ve had it and everybody’s filming you and you’re just annoyed by it and hopefully things are on the up and up to just never be like that, because 30 seconds in an elevator snubbing someone taints their impression of you for your entire life. You never know where you’re going to run into that person again.”
On the other side, he was impressed by those guests he may not of known much about, or being honest, wasn’t that excited to have on, but then “Offline, they’re so pro and their assistant’s awesome and they show up on time and they’re really giving. You think, ‘I like this person a lot because they didn’t have to do this for me.’”
Maybe anyone would have noticed the stark difference between these types of personalities, or maybe it’s because Jordan already naturally wants to be of help when he meets people, but it definitely drove home the point. Jordan further learned that all interactions can leave a lasting impression and can either come back to haunt you or pay big dividends.
No matter where we are in our careers, we are going somewhere. At any given moment, we are most likely needing help with something — finding new customers or clients, needing a CPA, a lawyer, needing to hire someone, or maybe a new job or opportunity ourselves, or quite often we need business or relationship advice. Bottom line, we need each other and if we approach every interaction by looking at each person wondering what they are going to give us, we are going have a tough time, perhaps a tough life.
“The truth is it makes helping and networking with other people easier because it reduces the cognitive load. If I’m thinking what can I get from Josh right now? I don’t really need anything, so I’m not going to interact with him. Or, I’m going to prioritize something else. Then anytime you interact with somebody, you’re forced to think, ‘What can I get from them?’ The answer usually is going to be nothing because you don’t know what you need in five years. You only know what you need right now and you’ll ignore all these great people. You won’t make as many friends. You won’t make as many connections.”
Something else tends to happen when you enter into your interactions with a lot of expectations. Have you ever experienced the frustration that comes from unmet expectations? How about when you see someone suddenly get upset because there’s a bunch of unmet needs bursting to the surface. That’s uncomfortable, but it is avoidable.
“It’s like, if that’s the relationship we’re going to have where it’s like, ‘You’re not going to do me a favor unless I do you a favor first.’ If I need something and I can’t help you, you’re not going to care at all. That’s the type of person who is going to be like you’re dead to me because you don’t have a platform or something. Or if a couple rungs on the ladder or they end up on top of the totem pole in a few years, they’re going to be like ‘Oh yeah, I don’t need you anymore.’ You know, go fly a kite! I just don’t want those people in my arena. There’s too many people at conferences and in our circles like this, we don’t have to put up with the quid pro quo crap. That type of behavior in my opinion should not be tolerated. If you’re the kind of person that sets up quid pro quo or you’re thinking, ‘Well, I’ll help these guys if I can get something in return,’ stop doing that! You probably mean well. You’re probably just trying to hustle and grind. But, it makes you look like an A-hole. Stop doing it.”
Jordan makes a strong case as to why we should not to be attached to the result of our daily interactions. Go into your next conversation, interview, podcast, or meeting a new person without expectation. Give yourself to the interaction. As Jordan puts it, “ABG — Always Be Giving.”
Jordan has just recently left the podcast empire he built to start over from scratch with his new podcast, “The Jordan Harbinger Show.”
“When growing the new podcast, the biggest lever I had was the relationships I previously built.” He added, “I helped people without the expectation of anything in return, but I never really thought I would need something in return. Now that I do, I’m like ‘oh my God, thankfully I did that!’ because I could have just as easily not have helped all these people.”