Fool Me Once…

So there’s this guy. He lives way up above us. He has a white beard. We call him Father. He watches you all the time, and eventually, as the world grows cold and dark, he rewards those who have been good and punishes those who have been bad.

Just kidding! That whole Santa Claus thing is a myth! It’s just a story we tell kids to trick them into behaving and to have a little fun. We totally lied to you! The rewards came from us the whole time.

However …

There’s this other guy who lives above us and has a white beard, and we call him Father, and he watches you all the time, and eventually, as darkness closes in upon you, he will judge you. If you’ve been good, he will give you an eternal reward. If you’ve been bad, he will give you an eternal punishment. We have no evidence — unlike the other guy, you can’t even see this guy at the mall — but you must believe us this time. It’s super, super important and totally not a trick to get you to behave!

(From the outside, Christianity is weird.)

Originally published at Josh Philip Ross.