Things Left Unsaid

First Journal Entry

I’ve always tried to see myself as Achilles; vigorous, mettlesome and fierce, yet a part of me keeps reminding me I am still vulnerable — vulnerable to pain, vulnerable to failure; bombarded with what people say, fusillade of bullets, flooded by tyranny, but I still try — I will still try.

It is truly ironic how I built brick walls between me and people, and complain about this captivity I’ve been imprisoned ever since; if I’d build a wall between you and me, would you take it down?

Sometimes I forget who I really am; do I push people away, or do I just really need space? A planet that can hold 7 billion people, but why do I still feel confined? I am not claustrophobic, but why am I petrified of the crowd?

I may have closed the curtains right in front of you; but the show’s still running. I may have closed the curtains right in front of you; but I tell you, I still do need you.