One Year of Gratitude — Day 17

Joshua Briley
Jul 20, 2017 · 3 min read

The notion of trust is on my mind this morning. What is it? What does it mean? How does one earn it? What are the different stages of trust in relationships? Is trust the same as love? Can you trust someone you don’t love? Can you love someone you don’t trust? How is that some folks are trustworthy by nature, and some aren’t? I could ask a million more questions about this, but instead I’ll tell you why it’s on my mind.

I had two rather heavy conversations over the past week with two separate people. These were friends and family seeking serious advice. I imagine there was some deliberation before contacting me. How did they choose to share their concerns with me? At what point did “I’ll check with Josh” become part of their solution? For whatever reason they chose me, I am grateful. At some point in our relationship, I earned their trust. And now, I know these people on a deeper level.

One thing that is interesting to me is the timing of these conversations. I started on a path of self improvement back in March. Before that, I can’t recall having conversations like these. Maybe this is a sign that I’m on the right track. Maybe it’s validation that my quest for self improvement has value beyond my own needs. Maybe it’s a sign that self improvement extends beyond self. By improving myself, am I also learning to help improve the lives of others? Maybe that’s what self improvement is — the ability to help others. Maybe self improvement is a misnomer for community improvement or something similar. Could it be?

Some thoughts on the matter…

Maybe the better I treat myself, the better I can treat others. Maybe the more I help myself, the more I can help others. Maybe if I am kind to myself, I can be kind to others. Maybe if I address my own needs, I can help address the needs of others. Maybe if I learn to be patient with myself, I can be patient with others. Maybe if I can learn to trust myself, I can trust others. And maybe, it’s a chain reaction. I help you, you help me, we help we… The thought seems reasonable to me as I write this.

To put it as a metaphor… If I’m a bus, the condition of my engine determines what value I can bring to people. If my engine is in bad shape, I can’t be much help to folks. But, if I’m freshly oiled and finely tuned I can make someone’s life a lot easier. Addressing my needs first allows me to help others. Maybe?

Trust is one of life’s intangibles that carries different meaning to different people. Maybe earning trust starts with trusting myself. Maybe their trust in me is a reflection of that I am learning self trust. Maybe there’s plenty more conversations like these in the horizon. For now, I’ll take these conversations as a sign of positive feedback. And, I am thankful for that feedback. Your trust is me is an investment in both of us. Thank you!

And that’s your gratitude for today…

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