Here’s How To Feel Confident In Your Sexuality After Trauma

The big question: Do you feel confident, safe, and powerful in your sexuality?

For a trauma survivor of rape, sexual assault, or physical abuse…that answer might be NO. The body may not feel safe to experience this. In fact, the body no longer feels like it’s yours. This sort of trauma means that boundaries and safety have been violated.

For a trauma survivor, the nervous system may be hyper-sensitive and easily agitated. So, even day-to-day life can be full of triggers that further one’s disconnect from their own body.

As a trauma survivor, I can attest to this random (and daily) fight or flight activation. Especially in the years following my trauma, everything set me off. My body was always ‘on edge’. Unpredictable sounds or movements triggered instant body tension and increased heart rate. Any interactions that triggered feelings of betrayal made me re-live my trauma. It reminded me of my sexual trauma, which was a betrayal, violation, and a loss of safety in my body.

I lived like this for years! Unconsciously re-living my trauma on an endless loop. I never connected the dots.

Even more conflicting was how I felt in yoga studios. I was feeling triggered, unsafe, and confused. But, how could this be? Yoga is this super safe and spiritual haven, right?

Here’s some of the ways that yoga studios (and teachers) triggered my trauma:

  • Having the lights turned off in savasana (pitch black room with no windows)
  • Teachers pushing me to the edge in certain asanas
  • Teachers touching my body without consent (furthering my disconnect from my body)
  • Poses where my legs were wide open

So, what finally ignited my healing journey?

It was a combination of Trauma-Informed yoga, wellness gatherings with women, and Womb Yoga. These combined modalities had 1 thing in common…

They allowed me to reconnect to my body in a safe way.

That’s what I needed this whole time! I was only reaffirming my disconnect before.

I see so many women guilt themselves because they can’t seem to feel confident in their sexuality. They rely on self-help books, podcasts, and yoga to build self-acceptance and self-love. If this is you, it’s not your fault. No matter what you’ve been through, it’s possible for you to step inside your empowered sexuality. It’s possible for you to love your body and establish strong boundaries and trust in yourself.

Evidence suggests that yoga can enhance trauma recovery. It may enhance it by offering you a safe space to practice self-regulation of your nervous system and to reconnect to your body. That yoga must be trauma-informed and offer gentle reconnection to body parts largely ignored in the yoga space such as breasts and womb space.

For these reasons, the yoga I choose to offer is trauma-informed Womb Yoga (no physical womb is required for Womb Yoga).

And, it’s not enough to explore reconnecting to your body alone. Gathering with other women to practice this is a major part of the healing process because…

‘We don’t heal in isolation, but in community.’ ( — S. Kelley Harrell)

Wherever you’re at in your healing journey, I am sending you so much love and support. You are not alone.

Joss Frank
Wild Womb

P.S: I’ve got a FREE Guide for you to explore! It’s got 3 easy practices to boost confidence and feel more sensual in your body. I’ll show you how to go from fear, shame, and self-doubt to feeling confident and connected to your body in 3 gentle practices. Get it here: https://bit.ly/MEDIUM_freeguide

--

--

--

Helping women break through the barriers of shame, guilt, and fear so they can truly love their bodies inside and out!

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Stop Shaming Women For Wanting Love.

Are Feminine Women Manipulative?

Billie Eilish on Body Positivity, Objectification, and Rape Culture

How to Reclaim & Exude Femininity, and Access Your Vulnerability

Womanhood: The Carmen Experience

Kamala Harris, Busting the Narratives At Midlife

I Thought Pro-Choice Meant Never Choosing To Keep The Child

The Christian Patriarchy is Back and There’s Hell to Pay

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Joss Frank

Joss Frank

Helping women break through the barriers of shame, guilt, and fear so they can truly love their bodies inside and out!

More from Medium

Life Before a Kid was Fucking Great

Reconciling our good and bad parts

The Perfectionist Trap

A Letter To My Students