Three Bold Lipsticks for Telling People to “Fuck Off, Motherfucker”

~Fake Journalism/Advice~ (lipstick recommendations are real)

Have you ever wanted say “fuck off” without actually saying anything? Have you ever been plagued by an indescribable urge to scream obscenities in a setting where you couldn’t? Perfect that resting bitch face with these lipsticks that say, “Fuck off, motherfucker.”

Unicorn Blood by Jeffree Star Cosmetics

I’m all around obsessed with Jeffree Star’s liquid lipsticks — like, wait at my computer for a restock obsessed — and Unicorn Blood was my first baby of the bunch. This dark lip is creamy and full of rich color, perfect for that stepoffbitch face. Also, because nothing says fuck off like unicorn blood.

Ex: “Hey, waitress, my food never came out!”

Waitress turns, displaying Unicorn Blood.

“Oh! Well then, I’ll just starve and hope for the best!”

Cyber by MAC Cosmetics

Cyber was an impulse buy for me. I was in Las Vegas and wondered into the the MAC store. Of all the lipsticks on display, I gravitated toward Cyber. Here’s a lipstick that will keep haters in their corner even when it’s in your teeth or is bleeding.

Ex: Man looks at woman wearing Cyber

Man: “Did that woman just tell me to fuck off, motherfucker?”

Poe by Kat Von D. Beauty.

POE! My first lipstick love. This slightly sparkly, slightly drying blue lipstick is worth the few times you’ll have to reapply it. If you’re really trying to give the middle finger with your eyeballs, Kat knows it’s with a dark, navy blue.

Ex: “Hey, pretty lady!”

Woman turns, narrows eyes, purses Poe-lips.

“Well, guess I’ll just go fuck myself!”