Roll the Clock Back and See How a Trump Supporter Started Out in Life
He had a weird name. Something like “Ira”. When Ira was in the third-grade, he liked to beat-up the younger kids — which means that the first graders were his target of choice.
Ira was never the sharpest tool in the woodshed. When he got to high school, subjects like English, Algebra and Chemistry 101 were beyond his intellectual reach.
Instead, he majored in shop — that hour-a-day where kids built a shoeshine kit in the years that people still wore shoes that needed an occasional shining. After school, Ira was active in FFA (Future Farmers of America) where he learned to plant corn, hoe vegetables and really got into animal husbandry.
Some people think the time spent in animal husbandry is where Ira got his penchant for gay-midget-porn that cost him 3 marriages and two years in the county lock-up.
When Ira wasn’t taking Bertie, his 4th wife, to the Masonic Lodge to dance on Friday night, he spent his life under the hood of Buicks, Oldsmobiles and Fords. That was when having a Ford meant something and hadn’t yet started to mean Found On the Road Dead.
These days, Ira sits on the sofa all day. His favorite shows all have the same theme: Jerry Springer makeovers and movies where the hero is more like a cartoon than anything that could be found anywhere near reality.
Ira’s favorite drink is Pabst Blue Ribbon and his favorite song is “Red Necks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer”. Never mind that everything, except the red neck, was made in a foreign country.
That’s Ira’s life these days. He stays at home getting fatter and lazier and waiting on the queen of his double-wide trailer to come home from her job as a hairdresser down at Suzy’s Soak and Suds.
And yeah. He roots for Trump.
Ira believes that the “presumptive Republican nominee” who is a racist, bigoted Islamaphobe tells it” like it is”.
Jerry Nelson is an American writer and photojournalist and is always interested in discussing future work opportunities. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org and join the million-or-so who follow him on Twitter @ Journey_America.