Food: A Grocery Love Story– The Kale & I, If Romeo and Juliet Had Lived

It all started with a Simple Green Smoothie. It seemed so innocent. Follow the recipe, get fit; not, fall in love. But, that’s what happened. I couldn’t help it. Somehow a simple push of a NutriBullet turned one of the most tragically nutritious vegetables into a diet love affair. I was hooked…hooked on a super food. Hooked and I couldn’t let go. Little did I know, this wouldn’t be as simple as a diet craze or fitness binge. There would be un-sunny days…

The Day Things Got Complicated

I came home one day, after the smoothie challenge was over to find that things had changed. I reached into the fridge for my passion un-fruit and to my dismay, found that I had been betrayed. Without the weekly recipe and reminder, I had done what most men do in relationship. I relaxed. I let some of the romance slip and what I found was a bag of wilt; because grocers don’t package kale for the long haul. Like love, it needs attention.

Could this just have been a 30-night stand? The kale had gone bad. The bag had betrayed our love. I couldn’t consume it fast enough. So, like Adele I wondered “Should I give up; or just keep on chasing…?”

If the kale couldn’t keep long enough for me to consume it, how could our love ever last? The farm it was from and the legacy of refrigerators I was born into seemed eternally at odds. We are who we are. It all seemed bad, but, then I had, an idea…

The Fight for Love

For thirty more days and thirty more nights I tried. Buy a bag, consume as much as you can. Cooked kale, smoothie kale, kale lasagna, kale salad, and even kale on a sandwich; even though no turkey burger ever asked to compete with that level of bitter. I was determined. I was driven. I needed to beat the legacy of the grocery store bags that was betraying me. I tried plastic containers, shrink wrap up, cooking, and freezing; anything I could think of to make our love keep; and it seemed impossible. Week after week; opening the fridge to the stench of dead romance, love gone wilt — it seemed like things between us would always go bad.

You haven’t tasted sorrow until you’ve accidentally eaten the mold of love. I have.

If you think kale is bitter, try it after it’s spent days in a package bearing a seal that just wasn’t enough. But, this was love. I had to find a way.

How Our Love Made it

A weaker man would have let it go. After all, some things just weren’t meant to work. They say “everything just ain’t for everybody.” But, I wanted this. I wanted this more than I can even say.

The kale was there for me, cleansing me, keeping me. I was down to high school track high-jumping weight. There was a budding six pack, clear skin, and even with all the bad odors and wilt we had, it wasn’t all bad. There had to be a way. I had to save the day. Save our love.

And just when I was about to give up, a miracle happened. A super coupon almost too lavish to be true. I had no idea what I was about to do; but before I knew it, my cart contained 12 boxes of freezer bags that I was getting for $3.99. I wasn’t thinking about Kale, but he universe knew that it was time. It was time for our love. I got home and then it happened.

The bag broke. A counter full of kale. What would I do?

In true MacGyver fashion, one of the most wonderful things happened. My double seal freezer bag surplus, met the kale. And after a week, I looked and things weren’t stale. I opened the second bag and it was just as fresh as the day I found my kale love. It was like magic from above. A clearance freezer bag sale and a love I refused to let go stale ended what had been a weekly tragedy.

The Lesson

Sitting here sipping today’s smoothie, made with kale that was purchased over a week ago (no judgment please), love works if you work it. There’s always away. When you found a diet winner that makes you thinner, don’t let that kind of love go. Real love always finds away. Mine did. And, because of it, the Kale and I are no more a love tragedy.

We live happily ever after.