The Amazing Suit of Happiness
Hi, how are you?
I saw you from across the bar, and figured I’d say hi, so, “hi”.
I work in marketing for a tech company, yourself?
Oh that’s great. It sounds like you like your job a lot.
Hey, do you think I’m attractive? Yeah? Ok good. Oh you? Yeah…yeah you’re cute. Hang on.
Ok, my friend told me that you’re incredibly hot…so…awesome. I think you’re incredibly hot too. I mean, why would they say that if it wasn’t objectively true, right?
Let’s scratch that off my checklist.
Oh this? It’s just a checklist for the suit I’ve picked out for you. We’ve already got mutual physical attraction down, that’s like 90% of the work, right?
What suit? Oh sorry, I just assumed that you were doing the same. Um, this is the suit I imagine you wearing in my fantasy. It turns you into my fantasy partner and the whole reason why we’re even talking, right? Because why waste our time talking to someone who doesn’t want to be in this suit. Everyone wants to be in this suit.
No, I don’t think it’s weird. So, do you want kids?
You do? That’s great, me too. Oh you want them within the next year? Hmm, ok well, I guess I can fix the suit a bit. Hang on. Ok there. Now you’ll fit.
What kind of stuff do you enjoy as hobbies? Passions? Oh, that’s interesting. That’s fascinating. I can appreciate it, but not as passionately as you do…but, we can make it work. Let me add something to the suit.
Ah, you’re not interested in the things that I like. Yeah, you’re right, that’s not really a mature hobby. What was I thinking. Ok no worries. What do you want? We can make this work. Platinum for that suit? You got it.
All right here it is. It’s perfect. Try it on.
You look amazing. It’s great. So, shall we fall in love now, move in together, have a dog, then kids, and buy a place?
Oh, what do you mean it’s too fast? I thought you fit perfectly in the suit? Maybe you just need more time? Yeah that’s it.
You need more time to love me. You’ll come around.
I’ll make you happy, I promise. Do you want to be boyfriends? No? Ok. What about now? No? Hmmm, maybe if I ask 3rd time you’ll change your mind. There it is. Great.
Look at us. Look at you in that perfect suit. You’re amazing. You’re everything I wanted. What else do we need?
I’m going to make you my priority. I’m going to support you. Oh, my stuff? My pain, my frustrations, my sorrows, my likes, my hobbies…my essence?Don’t worry about it. You’re my world. I love you.
You love me. Right? I mean, I heard you say it in a drunken slur once. It must be true.
I see the suit doesn’t quite fit anymore…that’s ok. We’ll make it work. I have some thread. Here’s some needles. It’s not a problem. Anything you want. What can I do?
Oh. You don’t want to wear the suit anymore. Ah I see. It’s ok. We can make another one. What fabric? No?
You’re leaving me. You never wanted to suit to begin with.
Why didn’t you say anything?
You wanted to see if you could make me happy by wearing it?
You should have said something earlier.
I didn’t want you to be unhappy because you wanted to make me happy.
I see the irony now.
I guess I was trying to force you into this suit.
I’ve had it for many years, and many have tried to wear it before you.
I thought it’d be you. I mean, it had to be you.
But I was wrong.
And…honestly…I don’t need to have this suit. This amazing suit of happiness.
It’s a fantasy. A fantasy that prevented me from seeing who you were and who I was in those beginning moments.
The future is built on the foundations of being grounded in the present.
We never even got off the ground.
We did the best that we could.
And I’m thankful for that.
Oh, this suit? Yeah it’s going to burn.
And next time. Oh I’m looking forward to the next time. To being present. To forgetting about that impossible, amazing suit of happiness.
Hi. How are you?
I saw you across the room.
Tell me about your dreams, and I’ll share mine.