Giving God the pen to write your love story …
- Single: You might think about your future spouse, or how to get yourself a boyfriend. You might be saying this to yourself, “Will I be like this forever? Will I ever find true love?”
- In a young and blooming relationship: You will most likely experience a surge of emotions. You finally felt what it’s like to “love” and “be loved”. You tend to show off your new relationship. You feel the security of having someone as your “possession”. But, are these feelings based on true and pure love for that special someone, or are you just enjoying the idea and the beauty of being loved by someone?
- In a serious relationship: You may have spent a lot of time with this person. You both feel comfortable and secured with each other. You start to think that he or she is “the one”. You both may say things like “I promise I’ll never leave you behind”, or “I will always love you”.
Questions to consider:
- What is the purpose of this relationship?
- Is this love God-centered or rather self-centered?
When you’re ready for commitment, God will reveal “the one” to you. He knows that you’re not ready now and that is why He hasn’t revealed him or her to you yet. You are still growing, still maturing and still stumbling upon God’s words.
- God is never late. God has a plan for your life. All you have to do is to trust God wholeheartedly with His plan for you.
Why do I love him or her?
- He/she makes me feel special. — I want give him/her a sense of warmth.
- He/she makes me feel happy. — I want to him/her to be happy.
- He/she makes me feel secure. — I want to be there to help him/her in times of need.
- He/she gives me attention and affection. — I want to care for him/her.
- These emotions are all directing to me. Our own self. Love isn’t just an emotion. Why? Because love doesn’t behave the way emotions do. Emotions fluctuate over time. Love is an action. Love isn’t something we feel, but something we do. It is an action of giving and caring for the other.
- We don’t just fall in love hopelessly by mistake. To love is to make a decision — a decision to sacrifice one’s self for the other, to accept the other for all they are regardless of their imperfections.
- This is the reason why some people feel unsatisfied in relationships. This is because they are searching for what the other, instead of accepting him for who he really is. They expect the other to reach their expectations of their hearts, like “you’re not being sweet enough” or “you’re so ignorant to me” or “you’re not giving me enough attention”, instead of giving to themselves. This marks the beginning of an unhealthy relationship.
Loving someone doesn’t always mean that you’ll hold them tightly to your life. Sometimes, you have to let go of that person for his or her sake. Love also means to let go. Once you have made the decision to love someone, you also have to be ready to let him or her go. If things start to go wrong between a couple, if the relationship is crossing its boundaries and being unhealthy, then keeping the person to yourself is an act of selfishness. This isn’t love, this is obsession. Love comes with a sacrifice. Letting go for the greater good is one of the responsibilities that come with love.
Do you truly love him, or do you just love the idea of him?
- If you simply love the idea of him, you will find yourself trying to change that person to match your ideas
- You have high expectations from them
- You are so in love with the idea of love that when you find someone who’s your perfect fit you just transfer all the love to that person, but that’s not how love works
Truly loving someone means that you’ll love that person without the expectations of him/her reciprocating the love back to you.
There are times when you are tempted to do what your heart desires to do, but these things aren’t always what’s best for us. God knows what’s best for us. Trust Him in that.
So, ask this question to yourself.
Are you willing to surrender yourselves to God and give your pen to the Creator of romance?
He will write a beautiful love story for you.
God is the author of true love. He knows our hearts’ desire.