What I Learned From Dating Women Who Have Been Raped
Emma Lindsay

I had difficulty reading this article. Your statement that rape victims are “just as much themselves after the rape as before” felt incredibly dismissive and not at all indicative of my experience. When my boyfriend took my virginity from me without my permission, it fundamentally changed who I was. I lost everything in that moment. If you want the details, you can read about it under “In an Instant”. It has been 25 years and it still shadows my life. I have been in support groups where it has been years and years for those in the group and yet they continue to live with the aftermath of their assaults every day.

I do agree that your body knows. The very idea of sex makes my skin crawl, causes me to withdraw into myself and makes me want to crawl into a hole. I don’t even like my husband to touch me or kiss me in any way. The consequences of rape and sexual assault sometimes never go away. Time will tell whether my assault will destroy my marriage just as it destroyed every part of me in that instant that I was raped.

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