How to Cope When You’re Not Okay

Don’t pretend you’re okay. You don’t have to smile and make small chat when your heart is breaking.

Be polite, but excuse yourself from situations that may be emotionally exhausting.

Alternatively, if being social recharges and refreshes you then go for dinner or a coffee with a trusted confidante. Be upfront that you have a lot going on and then tell them that you don’t want to go into details if you don’t wish to.

Retelling your story can sometimes bring a new wave of pain, so know when talking may be helpful or hurtful. Share as much or as little as you want — you don’t owe anyone details.

I went for dinner the other day, and while I didn’t pretend everything was okay, it was helpful to focus on other topics of conversation — like Beyonce(or whatever your Beyonce is haha).

That said, do try to make concentrated efforts to tackle tasks despite your crisis because there is one unchangeable truth about life: it goes on in spite of your problems.

When you start your work don’t beat yourself up for not being as productive as you usually are. Just think about the most urgent tasks and address them.

It helps to start with an important but easy task. For example, make your bed. Next, nourish yourself. Next, take the first step in working on your most urgent project. Perhaps it’s sending an email or writing an outline. Whatever you have to do simply take it step-by-step.

If you can only make your bed that day, then that is okay too. And know that you at least did that. That too is a small victory when your world is crashing. Above all, on days like today know that your worth is not your productivity.

I’m not an expert, but I’m learning how to get out of bed when I’m in despair, and I hope you can be encouraged too.

xo Joy