Your Performative Empathy Does Not Equate To Justice for Black Life
Do not expect applause from Black people for your intentions. We are looking for impact.
At this point, we have witnessed the global uprising for Black lives. Never have I ever received as many phone calls, private messages, and emails from random colleagues as I have the first two weeks of June. From white liberals to Black and Brown people who have internalized whiteness against their own interests, all of their messages conveyed a similar desire to be empathetic for my existence as a human raced as Black with deeper brown, ebony skin.
“During this time, I am reaching out to the Black people in my life…”
“How are you? I am sending you lots of strength and courage.”
“Any recommendation on how I can be an ally for you and other people of color?”
“I am trying to do my part to be more involved.”
“Anything I can do for you?”
“How are you and your family handling everything?”
“I am here if you need me.”
How exactly are you here for me if this is the first time you’ve decided to be vocal? Every day, we read that another organization decided to put out a statement describing their “commitment to justice for Black lives.” Hoping their statement becomes the new fan favorite over Ben and Jerry’s.
This is not empathy. This is sympathy performing as empathy. Performative empathy is a reactionary response to injustice that uses heart pulling words to garner credit and understanding for people with privilege who do very little to guarantee change. Transformative empathy requires action to prevent Black death, protect Black life, and consistently hold institutions accountable to Black people.
The truth you refuse to acknowledge is that you reached out because you feel sorry for me. You wrote that statement because you feel sorry for the Black people you work with. You feel pity and shame that the death of Black people is making headlines again and you have not done anything about it...again.
Rather than sit with that discomfort, you chose to perform through your ego.
You chose to prove that you are good by reposting black squares and catchphrases. You chose to move with urgency to kickstart diversity hires and initiatives without thinking them through. You chose to proudly announce that you are going to another protest, even put it in your away message so that everyone who emailed you knew that you were an exceptional human being. You chose to put most of your energy towards saying #blacklivesmatter instead of equally expending your energy to #sayhername and voice that #blacktranslivesmatter. You chose to make a one time donation to a nonprofit instead of continuously giving money directly to Black people or raising employees’ salaries. You chose to tokenize the limited number of Black people you think you know by asking them to validate your self-appointed allyship. You chose to wear an indigenous Ghanaian stole, wash a Black person’s feet, and take a knee.
You are not an ally. You are operating out of fear that your Black contacts will finally see who you have been this whole time…complicit in upholding white supremacy.
Your proximity to Black people does not change your status as a complicit agent of racial oppression. You can have a Black friend, spouse, and child and still perform empathy because you do not have a track record of putting yourself at risk to protect them. What has changed? Why is this time different for you? More importantly, are you truly ready to step up and do what is required to protect and preserve all Black lives? More specifically, are you willing to:
- Take initiative to uproot how you have internalized racial infer/superiority;
- Mobilize to abolish policing;
- Shift decision making power and resources to Black people who are committed to disrupting global anti-blackness;
- Guarantee reparations for Black people and/or redistribute your wealth;
- Reject funding from racist corporations and foundations;
- Create environments that allow Black Trans, Women, Youth to thrive at all times;
- Step aside and let your organization sunset because it is does more harm than good for Black people;
- Support Black businesses at their full prices without expecting discounts;
- End colorism and the fetishization of Black bodies in life and death; and
- Keep showing up even after you make mistakes.
The work does not stop after two weeks. We are living through a time of state sanctioned violence against Black citizens. No one has all of the answers, which is why you must continually check your racial justice compass. What is motivating your action or lack thereof? Now is not the time for you to seek acceptance and popularity for minimal effort. Before you make another well-intended appeal to Black people, stop and remind yourself that this is not about you. This is not about whether or not you receive praise for only being present. You must do more without expecting accolades. Like integrity, justice for Black lives requires you to be consistent when no one is watching. Do what is right even when the media does not cover your good deeds. Otherwise, leave Black people alone. We are too busy to cater to your internalized guilt.
