Thanks for this article Sara. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it and for a few moments it made me feel connected to you because I could relate to every word. I’m 30, I have a 7 year old, and I’ve been divorced for 2 years but I’ve been a single mom for 3 (we were separated first). I get no support from my ex husband, he has no custody rights to our kid, he doesn’t pay child support, etc. Luckily, I have great support from my parents and they are helping me while I finish my degree. Since I had my daughter before I finished college, and didn’t start going back to college until my divorce, I spend all of my time either at school, studying, or with my kid. It is very isolating as I don’t have time for much else. I’m going into a STEM field, so the classes I take are demanding and I study hard to maintain straight A’s since the grad-school program I want to get into is very competitive. I don’t have time to date. I haven’t dated in a year and a half. I rarely even find myself interested in anyone, and there are a few points you made in this article that got me thinking why that is. Do I shut myself off to the idea of dating because I don’t feel like I’m worthy, or is it honestly because I’m too busy and I’m so exhausted all the time? I have great life-long girlfriends, but all but 1 of them have moved away now. I make new friends in classes, but as I’m so much older than everyone in my classes, these never really seem to be the lasting kind of friendships. Since I’m a single mom, I can’t take 15–18 hours a semester, any more than 12 hours seems like too much. So I have been moving at a snails pace through college. But you’re right, it’s all a cycle of shame and loneliness. I think “Wow, I haven’t dated in a year and a half, what is wrong with me? I must not be worthy of love and happiness.” So then that thought makes me feel even lonelier, which makes me feel even more unworthy. But then I realize, it’s not like no one has asked me out. Since August I think 5 or 6 guys have asked me out. I don’t mind being alone, like intentionally choosing solitude, because I too like to have my alone time. But I spend a lot of time alone. I don’t know why I never gave any of those men a chance, I think I automatically thought “No, they’re not what I’m looking for or what my daughter needs in a stepdad” and I just immediately blow off the idea. Anyways, this is a long post, sorry for the venting session. I just wanted to say thank you for being open about your loneliness, I don’t understand why it has such a stigma. I openly talk about loneliness with those I’m close to. When we can talk about the less than perfect aspects of our lives with our friends, I think we realize that everyone goes through it or struggles with it at some point and it helps to liberate us, in a sense. When I realized my other friends feel lonely too, it made me feel less like a freak and a little more human. Thank you Sara.