Some People Just Want To Be Slaves: 12 Surprising Truths About Consensual Slavery
Mr. and Mrs. X seem to be the perfect family. Both successful professionals in their late thirties, they live in a sizable New York home with their two children. How does this power couple manage to “do it all”? They’ve decided to forgo nannies, cleaning services, and live-in help to benefit from the respectful ministrations of four well-trained slaves.
But these are consensual slaves, and none of their duties are performed under duress. In fact, they consider this unpaid, voluntary service so essential to their happiness that many compete just to serve. I observed several such arrangements while researching Mistress Pussycat: Adventures with Submissive Men in the World of Femdom, my recently published book about femdom and consensual slavery.
Consensual slavery is a growing underground practice with an active, organized practitioner community. One international organization dedicated to this lifestyle, Masters And slaves Together (MAsT), has over 100 active chapters in the United States alone. A consensual slave derives satisfaction by being obedient and serving another. He or she is emotionally (and often erotically) fulfilled through being perceived as a person of lesser status.
Why do consensual slaves voluntarily submit their independence to others? Here’s a look inside this most secret lifestyle.
It’s not one-size-fits-all. While masters and mistresses are routinely called owners and regard their slaves as servants or their property, that’s where the similarities end. Slaves can be male or female, gay or straight — as can owners. Some slaves’ roles mirror those of the downstairs staff in Downton Abbey — they are primarily domestic servants who cook, clean, draw baths, etc. Slaves of more severe owners wear collars, shackles, and chains, and are routinely restrained, punished, and humiliated.
This isn’t begun on a whim. Efforts are made to ensure both slave and owner are a good “match.” It’s not uncommon for slaves and owners to undergo health and background checks and engage in a trial or probationary period between a week and one year…all before permanent ownership.
It’s often formalized with contracts. Before ownership, both owner and slave often sign a written slave contract that specifies duties and responsibilities. This is meant to be binding on both parties. (Think of it as a kinky pre-nup or employment agreement.)
“With this collar, I promise…” Once the slave wears his owner’s collar around his neck, he’s considered “collared,” or property belonging to his master (or mistress).There is often a collaring ceremony to formalize the arrangement, in the way a conventional wedding celebrates a marriage. Some owners marry their slaves. But even when the one who wears the ball and chain becomes the old ball and chain, it doesn’t change the couple’s dynamic. Equality does not exist in consensual slavery.
Protocols are of prime importance. Master and slave interactions are dictated by behavior modification. (The strictest households are called “high protocol.”) Typical slave protocols include walking several paces behind the owner, not speaking unless given permission, avoiding direct eye contact and kneeling to accept a collar.
It can be a dog’s life. In strict households, collared slaves can be attached to a chain and tethered to a ring on the wall. Some are made to eat from a dog bowl, or not allowed to sit on the furniture. Others are kept locked in cages made specifically for humans.
They’re not necessarily sex slaves. Many older slaves (of both genders) are primarily house slaves who concentrate on their serving duties and have no erotic interaction with their owners. Instead, they derive fulfillment from serving those they believe to be superior or deserving.
It’s not unusual for slaves to have “day” jobs — and be quite successful. The boss who inhabits the corner office is as likely to be a consensual slave as a low (or no) income individual. It’s actually quite common to find a high net worth slave groveling at the feet of a dominant owner barely scraping by. When their jobs are demanding, these successful-by-day slaves want to relinquish power in their off-hours.
One slave point of pride is to be free…of hair. For many male slaves, being completely hairless is a point of pride, meaning they shave their chests, legs, and genital areas. Some also shave their heads, even when blessed with a full head of hair, because their owners prefer the hair-free look.
There can be a chain of command for those in chains. One married woman I wrote about in Mistress Pussycat, who originally wore chains as her future husband’s slave, received an additional female slave to help with chores. She toiled under the wife the way a parlor maid reported to a Victorian household’s head housemaid. Structured, multi-slave households are not uncommon.
An escape from drudgery has its price. When slaves primarily work full-time in the home, owners are expected to provide for their slaves. That doesn’t just mean food, shelter, and clothing, but also health insurance. The master/slave community puts great emphasis on owner responsibility.
There’s no divorce court or alimony for slaves. Most owners make a diligent effort to provide for their slaves after their association has ended, often interviewing potential new masters or mistresses to see if they fit the slave’s needs and preferences. Not all owners are this responsible. The most alarming, shameful facet of consensual slavery involves ronin, a word used to describe abandoned slaves. Cast from their homes (often when an owner marries), some ronin are broken, helpless, and unable to fend for themselves.
While the consensual slave community is characterized by many similar practices, standards, and relationship structures, within individual owner-slave associations the line is where the owner draws it. Consensual slavery is not a sometime sexual kink, but a lifestyle and identity for its devotees.
