Why Financial Domination Is Such A Devastating Addiction!
This insidious obsession makes men impotent, then wipes out their bank accounts!
A tv show character (Verne on FXX Chanel’s “You’re The Worst”) recently described himself a “money slave”. A doctor with a pregnant wife, Verne has depleted their assets, as he’s in thrall to a financial domme or “findom” (a woman who practices financial domination). Such a woman tells the guy — whom she calls a money slave, pay pig, or human wallet — that he’s a stupid loser. She’ll laugh at him, verbally emasculate him, try to make him cry. But not only will the fellow be turned on by this scenario, he’ll pay her to continue lobbing insults his way. Tv’s Verne has spent a few hundred thousand dollars on his findom. Though some may consider this development a rather outlandish plot devise, in actuality, more than a few men have had their lives run (and ruined) by a findom.
I studied this growing fetishistic practice and wrote about it in my recent book — Mistress Pussycat: Adventures with Submissive Men in the World of Femdom. While most submissives crave whips, chains, and physical pain, “money slaves” get off on being insulted and losing financial control.
These men get a rush from denying themselves, going without, and even entering into financial jeopardy in order to offer “tributes” to their mistresses. Proving themselves and providing for their “brat” creates a romantic dynamic. Here’s what goes on within this insidious sexual obsession:
Ridicule is the best medicine. For most men, hearing a haughty young woman laugh and call them a “loser” would be the ultimate mood-killer. But for pay pigs, such insults will likely result in an erection. Being called a “pathetic old creep” is a particularly potent remark in the findom community. These men don’t feel preyed upon; instead, they are highly aroused.
Master(bator)s of the universe are in evidence, yet never in control. Money slaves aren’t found only among working class males, loners, or those with low self-esteem. Many findom fans are wealthy and successful. Though they may hold themselves in high regard, these men are erotically stimulated when a woman tells them how useless and pathetic they are.
This isn’t a singles-only club. While many unattached guys get off on findoms, they also find their prey among married men. By insisting she deserves his money more than his family, the quick-witted findom can keep herself in fine style. And for the sub, the constant threat of having his illicit activities exposed to his spouse ups the sexual ante.
It’s all about her. Financial subs don’t expect to have sex with their “goddess.” Instead he promises to be in a findom’s life strictly for her profit and pleasure. This is never a two-way street.
There are no free rides to Mt. Olympus. A pay pig is often required to offer his goddess funds or give her a gift — proving he’s worthy of being in her life — before she’ll even communicate with him. (To this end, she’ll often post gift lists on Amazon.) The typical findom admonishes her prey: “Don’t waste my time!”
A cash cow never ponies up for real need. This kind of guy is negatively impressed by female desperation. Hearing about her overdue rent, medical bills, or student loans makes him turn tail and run. But if he knows the funds are going toward something frivolous or unnecessary, his money is on its way!
You won’t find many cougars in this den. Even if the findom is past her early twenties, she’ll still claim to be a gorgeous young thing while accusing the pay pig of being nothing but a washed-up jerk. Older findoms are the exception, not the rule. This is mainly practiced by young women who connect with their guys through webcams, making it difficult to lie about one’s age.
And they’re hardly a Perfect Ten. Most findoms present as average-looking young women with marked superiority complexes. If a Plain Jane acts unobtainable, puts herself above the man and doesn’t accept him in a romantic sense…then, in his eyes, she’s practically Gatsby’s Daisy!
See ya never! Forget about sex — just being with a findom IRL (in real life) almost never happens. It is largely conducted largely online. Despite all the gifts and funds he’s given, the fact that a money slave has never even met his goddess is rarely seen as a red flag.
Sisterhood is powerful. Findoms are enormously supportive of one another, willing to share tips or compare “pay pigs.” These like-minded young ladies network and share stories about big pay-offs from “human wallets”…or others who’ve disappointed or disappeared on them.
They’re not only All-American girls. Nigerian and Ghanaian online scammers have mastered financial domination. Especially if she refuses to video chat, that sassy young prima donna who demands to “get what she deserves” might just be…an old African male.
She can dictate not just his expenditures, but his every move! Seasoned findoms are able to tell when a man craves being completely controlled. In such cases, she’ll tell her guy what to eat, approve his daily wardrobe choices, and green light or disapprove all expenditures. An experienced findom’s end goal isn’t merely being important to her pay pig — it’s running every aspect of his life.
To the fellow who sexually responds to a cruel, greedy woman, this is exactly what he needs. He may have a wife and kids who love and depend on him — but producing for a bratty, demanding, unobtainable woman is what drives him.
Such men realize that they were, in the moment, all too happy lavishing money on their findom for erotic thrills. Though this is a complex compulsion and one difficult to quit, many male addicts find themselves pledging to leave their findoms in the New Year.
Joyce Snyder is the author of Mistress Pussycat: Adventures With Submissive Men In The World Of Femdom.