That Moment When
That moment when you knew… Life has led us to believe that there are pivotal moments in our lives of blinding clarity. We see and hear them all the time. Through television, film, media, and folklore these types of stories endure. We are taught to sit on a decision, inactively, and the answer will come to us. Well, I call bull.
What I have learned on this winding path of life is that it doesn’t wind at all. There’s no gold-tinged road that will lead you to the Emerald City. There are no curves and bends. There are intersections. You go right or you go left until you have to go right or left again. Every decision leads you to your next decision. If you‘re stuck at a fork in the road waiting for it to become a knife in the road, you’re going to be stuck for a long time (this metaphor is a bit of a stretch, I know.)
This year I was faced with the biggest fork (a pitchfork?) I’ve yet to encounter in my mere 28 years on this earth: To go back to school or to continue with a career that had fallen stagnant. I found out that I was accepted into BCIT’s Broadcast and Online Journalism program at the end of February 2016. I made my decision to officially go back to school September 5, 2016. School started September 6. I waited for about 189 days for that moment where I’d know. For my AHA! But it never came. Because it is a fallacy constructed by our world of indecision. It is our safety net from ever having to choose what we want and risking what we could lose. The fear of failure.
I backpacked through Europe/Africa this summer; through England, Italy, Spain, Portugal and Morocco. There was ample opportunity while lying beneath the stars in the Saharan Desert in Morocco, or with my feet dangling off a Portuguese cliff side for certainty to strike. Were I to believe everything I’d seen, I had created the perfect conditions for clarity to come-a-knocking. All I needed to do was wait. Well the sun was rising and the cliffs were eroding and I was nowhere closer to knowing the direction of the next two years of my life.
The purpose of this essay is not to ruin your fantasy, but to instill you with the knowledge that you are capable of deciding. There is not a single person or being more perfectly suited for the position. You are the CEO of your life and what you say goes. Regardless of what you choose, the power is the choice. It might be the wrong one, but you took action. Your life had momentum and a purpose that was fueled by your own fire, not something whispered on the winds.