Remember

I remember.
Desperate to forget,
Moments like these revoke the privilege.

Buried below the layers
of “I’m ok,” “It’s ok,” “we’re ok.”
Far below the kids, the career.
Beneath the depths of
“Take one day at a time”
There she hides.

She’s aged.
Not as ugly now,
Most of her power is gone.
But yet with one kiss
She still takes a grown man to his knees.

She used to make me cry.
Now she’s made me forget how to cry.
She used to sneak up on me,
Use the cover of the night.
Now she sits comfortably in my midst
Mocking me.

She knows she holds the power
Even when I forget.
I’ve tried to talk her out, cry her out,
reason her out.
She’s in my head. She holds my heart.

I see her in others.
Known her for so long.
I desperately hope she’ll leave them,
Even if that means she has to consume me.
We’ve learned to live so well together,
But it seems she’s just as adapt to you as she is me.

I await the day she cannot be found.
Once lost not a soul will go looking.
I want to forget,
Try to forget,
Almost forget.

I remember.
Her name is Agony.