The surprising thing here is that my life and interests, outlook and philosophy have been slowly built over time by hard and at times violent and dangerous living. The only things I succeeded at was criminally insane activities and when jail became a reality, I had to learn to survive and I became a smart politically minded individual because prison is politics that could end in death if you fuck-up. The pecking order, gangs, shady COs and sexy counselors who flirt and don't understand the torturous desire that caused the lifer. Being shot, and beaten almost to death with golf clubs, and in turn I did so many things that I came to regret with time. Having maimed a man with a new utility knife after a night of Hard drinking in a "black " bar and me being pasty white. But goddammit it's my neighborhood and he was from across the bridge. They had to staple him back together.

I did 10 years, and now I'm married, have beautiful daughters, ages 4 and 5. I'm 47 and my health ain't what it used to be. Construction is my trade, all of it. But through all of the madness and wild living I had a kind of awakening that almost put me in the loony bin. No exaggeration, this experience is much to complicated to cover here. But sometime soon I would love to dive into it. I'm recovering from alcohol, drugs,money, and fast women. Been clean for 2 years 27 days.