Personal Positivity (Week 3: Bikini Perfect Body )

There was a time when I could run 3 miles without wanting to cry, a time when my daily calorie intake stopped at 1300, a time when I could pass on a delicious doughnut or chocolaty trifle without batting an eye; my jeans fit right, tummy looked tight and wearing a bikini didn’t feel inappropriate. But today, all of that is such a blurred memory it’s hard to believe that it was ever me.

Summer has always been my favorite time of year, but it’s tough for us girls on the slightly thicker side. There are plenty of messages out there saying that a woman’s body is beautiful, no matter the shape or size. It’s one thing to say it with confidence but another thing entirely to actually embrace it. It’s so easy to get discouraged. Even at my smallest size, working out every day, and having enough self control to say “no thanks” to fried foods and sweet treats, all it took was passing by a couple girls with flat tummys in bikinis to make me feel like the work I put in was insufficient. But perhaps it was just jealousy.

My tummy has always been the trouble area for me.The rest of my body — even if I didn’t love it — I could deal with. But I always dreamed of having that perfectly flat tummy with minimal jiggle that made me feel confident and sexy. And no matter what I did, it would never be as flat as I wanted. It’s always easier in the off season, when everything is covered and I don’t have to think about it. But now that summer is in full swing, ladies are rockin’ sundresses, crop tops, and bikinis.

I had always been under the impression that bikinis were for “skinny” girls, not me. That the only way a bikini would look good on me was if I had a super flat tummy with no sign of a muffin top. But I’ve started to learn more and more that there is no specific body type that can wear a bikini. And of course, it’s taken a longer time to actually accept that idea for myself. I would notice other ladies at the beach, some thin some thick, and think they are rocking the hell out of that bikini, but then wonder why I can’t have the same attitude about myself. These women were confident, 100% satisfied with their bodies and it showed. That’s where I’m trying to get.

There are plenty of ladies out there with bodies that range from thick to thin. No matter our size, most of us have one or two features we wish we could change, but I feel like your attitude is what it comes down to. No one is going to notice the things you’re insecure about unless you let them see. If you have confidence in embracing whatever body type you have, that’s what’s going to shine through the most.

I don’t love my tummy, and, if I’m being realistic, it’s not going to get much flatter. I love eating pizza and wings and that’s not going to change. But there’s nothing wrong with that and that’s what I have to keep telling myself. There is probably always going to be parts of my body that I feel insecure about, but I’m just going to have to keep reminding myself that my body is real. I’m not a model and I’m not a perfectly drawn cartoon. My body is strong and beautiful and would rock the hell out of a bikini just like every other badass woman out there!