Love and Loss and Other Sweet Things….


I think most of us can agree that we would much rather have love and joy instead of fear and loss in our lives. In fact, the Ego is equipped with the internal drive with nothing more to guide it than to seek our love and joy at all costs and to avoid fear and loss. And love and joy certainly feel amazing. Wonderful. Sweet. But here’s the rub; nothing, absolutely nothing lasts forever. Not art, not money, not feelings of power, no even love. Everything is always in flux. The only constant we can count on in life is the law of impermanence.

Our children, so precious and dependent upon us eventually grow up and go on to live lives of their own. Our pets, so beloved to us, grow old and die, as everything eventually does. Statues and beautiful, architecturally interesting buildings weather and fall with time. Beautiful artwork fades, as do memories, until all we are left with is the stark reality that it was only ever us there in the first and last place.

There is a deep sense of loneliness as I write this. Not because I am alone, per se, but because I am so aware of this very fact: this life; this consciousness that we’ve been so blessed with is a one in a gazillion-tra-billion-infinity plus. We are one is a sea of unlimited, a tiny fleck on the greater Universal Whole. A speck on the windshield of life. A drop in the bucket of a million oceans. And the Universal Whole is (while lovely and kind and universally positive in nature) is super impersonal. And that doesn’t comfort me very much. And even if it did (which, I believe that it does, to some extent, without our awareness) it wouldn’t even hold us forever. It would hug us, love us, fill us and then, after some undetermined amount of time, it too, would let us go, as does the seed release the oak tree and the embryo releases the fetus and the word releases the feeling…

Life is a lot like eating a piece of fresh, natural, juicy fruit. Think of a peach, an apple, a fig, a strawberry, a kiwi, whatever type of fruit you can imagine. The pure, natural sweetness is truly Divine. But, if you think about it, that natural sweetness always comes with another flavor… sour or bitterness. And life is the same way. Oh, how we certainly try to hold onto only the sweetness. We, in fact, have created an entire product line of artificial sweeteners so that we don’t have to taste the sour that naturally is a part of the sweet.

In my opinion, processed sugars and artificial sweeteners are a lot like cocaine! In fact, there is some scientific evidence that processed sugars affect areas of our brains the same way cocaine does. Then, we become addicted and crave more and more sweetness. Eventually, we become desensitized to its effect as we need to consume more and more. The natural sweetness of a peach or apple or strawberry certainly does nothing to satisfy our cravings at this point. We can no longer stomach the bitter that comes with natural sweetness. In life, we sometimes crave power, fame or money and as we gain more and more of it, we become desensitized to its joy and crave more and more, often to the detriment to our very existence. Or, sometimes we are overburdened by the chaos, loss and challenges we face in life, and then, addictions become our numbing source. We use sugars, alcohol, sex, TV and drugs even, to numb the intense feelings of rejection, fear and abandonment.

In life, the pain we experience with loss is the same as the sour that comes with the natural sweetness of the peach. They are one and the same. Our sensation of love and joy is as much a part of loss and fear as the sweetness of the peach is also part of the sour that comes with it. Even the best peaches eventually rot and decay. As do those lovely architecturally appealing buildings will eventually fall. Ironically, loss is as much apart of life as love is.

We seriously need a strict detoxification in order to restore harmony and balance in our lives. We too, need to “check out” and “be” in order to restore our own personal balance. Sometimes we need to do a little window washing or gutter cleaning. Sometimes we just need to chill. Some use meditation, others use yoga, some get outside and exercise. There are many ways you can restore a healthy balance in your own life.

The ephemeral nature that is the reality of all life is simply a reminder to be alive in the NOW as often as we can. Because we truly are that Divine speck, one in a ka-gazillion, yet, our very own spark is what makes the Universe that which it is. Be, as you are and with all your might and savor the flavors that life bestows upon you.

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