If you do this, go f*ck yourself

Selling miracles is not new.

But lately, it has taken a new form on the internet and I do find this rather annoying.

I was wondering how to address this when I saw a post by Alex Mih on FB which I thought was a great way to present the whole thing.

Have you seen this?

The generic version goes like this:

“Hello my name is Tai Lopez or Sam Ovens or Andy Nielsen or Amy Porterfield or Random Sleaze Ball or Scam Scammersson or Whatever TheFukcsson

Only 7 years ago I was a pathetic insect crawling in a remote pit of this planet but now I have so many millions (of likes!) and money! I have pictures near air planes! I have pictures with FISH! Yes I can fish in the middle of the day while you work, you pathetic nobodies!

I also have pictures with celebrities and I also made Richard Branson take a pic with me! (at gun point) So what? You feel pathetic enough? No? OK, I made my first million in like 17 months but that was back then!

Now, I make millions with your every pathetic breath! YES you inhale! I have made 1 million, you exhale! YES, I made another million!

Listen, you nobodies, everything can change for you ! NOW ! TODAY! YESTERDAY! EVEN LAST MONTH IF YOU WANT! I have the solution ! I have what you need! And YES you guessed right, I will give it you you for FREE ! Only NOW only TODAY!

I just need your email and I will send you a:

  • webinar
  • ebook
  • elist
  • ecrap
  • eworkshop
  • ewhateverthefukcyouneedtoday
  • ewhatevergivesyouhope

Only I know the 10 things that will change your life, the 11 ways to touch yourself in the dark that will bring you billions of money, all via western union from Nigeria, 12 biggest mistakes all young entrepreneurs make, 13 ways to burn your cash on Facebook adds and of course 17 techniques how to blow yourself and make lots of money at the same time!

Everything is simple but at the same time brilliant ! LIKE ME !

Download for free, then listen to me vomit in your ears for some time! and then ONLY THEN you have the awesome opportunity to BUY SOME SERIOUSLY EXPENSIVE SHIT from me ! It will be DIGITAL — all good shit is DIGITAL !! — and thats how you know I am legit ! I AM DIGITAL !!! 
you can:

  • subscribe to me
  • subscribe to my grandma
  • subscribe to me and my grandma
  • pay me for 1 month
  • pay me for 35 years
  • give me all your money-

But if you are old fashioned! No worries I will get to you fucking wallet! I CAN BE ANALOG if you want me to ! Give me your address! And I will fly to you and my grandma will fly to you too and we will CONSULT the shit out of you! You will be able to start your own business in JUST 1 DAY , in 1 MONTH you will be swimming in your own golden lingots and in 1 year you will even be able to start consulting other people like I DO!!

AND dont forget HATERS GONNA HATE but my army of bots and trolls will love my posts and comment a million times on it and bash anyone who goes against Jesus!””

no, you’re not

If you do that, please stop

Like seriously, if you have so much money and you want so much to help others to succeed, just share your knowledge on youtube, so that we can all learn to be as smart as you are.

When we tell you this sounds like horse shit…

Also, think about other people who are trying to make a living out of people’s credibility. It used to be good. Now you are making it hard for some other already starving royal family.

There is a royal family relative out there who is being left out

If you see that, here is what you can do

  1. Block advertiser

No need to argue.

Just block the hell out of these people who are polluting your feed.

  • Step 1
  • Step 2
  • Step 3
  • Done

Special credits

Thanks to Alex Mih for finding so accurate words to describe the usual horse shit of the internet scam, and special mention to his grandma and Tai lopez for inspiration :)