The World’s 2nd Oldest Profession
SLOW DOWN: The First Lesson From The Pawnshop
The week after the first brothel opened its doors, a man with no money stopped to read a sign that read “Make Love Tonight! Only 1 Bag of Salt!” After the man read the sign, he looked disappointed and started to walk off. Just then a slick man walked up and asked,
“Aren’t you a farmer?”
“Yes.” The poor man replied ,“I breed goats.”
“Well, just bring me two of them for safe keeping, and I will loan you enough salt to pay the lady.” The slick man said with a grin.
“What about my goats?” The Farmer asked.
“It’s simple. I loan you one bag today and keep your goats as collateral. Then, if you return before the moon is full again with one and a quarter bags of salt, I will return your goats.”
“What if don’t have enough salt”
“If you don’t have the full amount, I will take one quarter bag of salt as payment to hold your animals until the next full moon.”
“And if I don’t have a quarter bag?” The farmer asked
“Then I’ll sell your goats to that brothel and double my investment.”
In that moment, the worlds second profession was born….. the humble pawnbroker.
In America simply bringing up a pawnshop, brings up images of bad reality tv and obscure historical items in Las Vegas. In reality, a pawnshop is nothing like this. The most interesting thing that “walks through that door” are the customers. I have met some of the best and worst people of my life standing behind a loan counter. From local drug addicts, unstable homeless people, the mentally challenged, thieves, Neo Nazis, gangbangers, cops, blue collar workers, bus drivers, business owners, blue haired old timers, bail bondsmen, repo men, college students and just about everyone else in between.
I remember my first day behind the loan counter very clearly. I was writing loans under my managers name because I couldn’t get my own log in until I completed my training. This was good. Most people are unaware of how heavily regulated a pawnshop is. Every item that enters the back, whether a loan or a purchase, must be meticulously documented. It was the only job I ever had that I could be ticketed, or even arrested, for a typo.
I had worked in a mechanics shop, retail, and a customer service call center at this point in my life. In every one of those jobs, there is always a time crunch. At the shop, if the equipment was broken the business lost money. At the tool store, long lines equaled pissed off old men. Finally, at the call center, call waiting time was all that mattered.
Given my previous experiences, as soon as a lined formed I started rushing through loans trying to type as fast as I could. I made several typos, including one in the serial number, and my description didn’t list an engraving on the tool. Both were finable offenses. While the customer signed, dated and put an ink thumbprint on both copies, I wrapped up the cordless tool set into a ball with plastic wrap, tagged it, and set it on the back counter. I explained the paper work and counted the cash to the old man. He counted the cash thanked me and walked off.
The line was making me anxious. As soon as the man stepped away from the counter, I said I’ll get the next customer down here. My manager noticed and looked over her reading glasses at me. She didn’t look pissed but, from her expression, I knew I did something wrong. Luckily, the next customer just needed to pay the interest on his loan. The transaction didn’t take long. After I put the money in the till, my manager asked me to grab the tools and follow her into the back of the store.
As we walked down the very large warehouse filled with anything you could imagine, stacked to the celling on makeshift wooden shelves. She explained to me never rush writing a loan. “This isn’t normal retail. Think about it. Every one in that line needs money. They are willing to wait because, we are the ones that are helping them.”
At first this sounded harsh to me, but as the line died down, I began to realize she was right. At the busiest time of the day some people waited for 20–30 minutes. They may have looked irritated in the line, but once they got to the counter they cheered right up. Unless of course they found out their “family heirloom” was worth $5 and I was offering $3.
A new guy started at a different store around the same time as I did. He made so many mistakes that the pawn detective literally sat him down one day for two hours and explained what was expected of him and the consequences if he continued his mistakes. Even that didn’t stick, because a month later that same detective came to the store and put him in cuffs.
Needless to say, after learning this, I slowed down. This lesson just doesn’t apply to writing loans, but writing in general. In my short time on Medium, I have read several articles about being consistent with posting. Most of them will tell you to post, post, post! Yes, you have to constantly post new content. Just make sure your quality is consistent as well. So next time you feel compelled to force an ending to your article, take my advice. Slow down, step away, come back to it in the morning. Your readers will thank you!
